“Thank you, Mrs. Michaels.” I wiped tears from my own eyes. I felt Jed’s hand on my leg; it might have been there the entire time.
She looked at Mr. Michaels and narrowed her eyes. “Are you going to support me on this?”
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“Craig?”
He nodded, but couldn’t make himself look at Jed and me.
Darwinbeamed when I went back into his room. He looked pale and weak, but the doctors had assured everyone he would be back to normal in no time. They were going to keep him a few days for observation, as was typical with patients who had attempted suicide.
“Don’t ever do that again, kid, no matter what’s going on.” I put my hand on one of the bed rails, and he reached out and grabbed it.
He looked at me adoringly. He glanced warily as his dad came in the room. When his mom smiled, he looked back at me. “Really?”
“Yeah, bud. It’s all going to be okay.” I felt like I was telling myself as much as I was telling Darwin.
“So, you’ll come back to youth group?” He looked behind me. “You and Donnie?”
Donnie came up and tousled his hair. “Nah, kid. There’ll be a new youth pastor, but we’ll still be at church, and you can see us whenever you want.”
Darwin’s face fell, but he still looked content. I marveled that such a small, waiflike boy could have such a superhero-type father. He appeared so fragile lying there in the bed, hooked up to IVs and monitors.
Pastor Bron and Mandy left after another half an hour. Jed and Maudra went home a little before eight. Jed still had to get ready for school. Sue, Chuck, Donnie, and I stayed all morning. Sue and Chuck spent most of the time with Mr. and Mrs. Michaels, I’m sure talking about how heartbreaking it is to raise children and assuring them everything would be fine.
By the time we left, I realized I was happy. I had the answers I needed. I was feeling assured of God’s love. I was going to get to work with Darwin, if no one else, and life didn’t seem so purposeless at the moment.
As we reached the car, Sue stopped and caught Donnie before he could duck inside. Through tears, she wrapped her arms around her son and held him tightly.
He had stooped to allow her to get her arms around him. “Mom, goodness, what is it? You’re going to break my neck here.”
She let go as he stood but didn’t move away. “I’m so sorry.”
He cocked his head as he looked at her. “Mom? What do you have to be sorry about?”
“Ever since you told us about the baby, all I’ve done is worry and cry and pester you about making sure you’re right with God.”
His face softened, and his voice cracked as he spoke. “Mom, it’s okay. You’re my mom. You’re supposed to worry about that. I’m so sorry things happened like theydid.”
She shook her head. “No! None of us are perfect, and I see God clearer in you than I do anyone in the world. I could never have asked for a more wonderful, loving son. If anyone should know you are okay with God, it should have been me.”
She reached up and dragged his neck down again in a fierce embrace. “I love you, Donnie.”
“I love you too, Mom.”
I looked over at Chuck, who was standing with the driver’s door open. He just gave me a wink.
Thirty-Seven
Fora moment, I couldn’t say anything, and I cursed myself for ever asking Pastor Bron to let me do this. I could have at least asked to do it on a Sunday night or Wednesday evening when there would be less people.
Here I was, at the late Sunday morning service, the one with the most people, and I couldn’t think. A few moments ago, I knew exactly what I was going to say. A few moments ago, I could feel the passion and Godly purpose behind my words. Now, all I could feel was terror. I looked at the hundreds of eyes staring at me. Some wide in wonder, others in shock and disgust, a few others in support.
I glanced at the second row, Mandy and the Durkes smiled at me, encouragingly. Maudra nodded with her lips thin, jaw thrust forward, ready to come to my aid if I should falter.
Jed just looked at me, neither smiling nor frowning. He held my eyes with his. For a split second, the rest of the room faded and it was only us, just Jed and me. Then, the look in his eyes told me togo.
“I know there are many of you who feel like I shouldn’t be up here. Maybe some of you feel I shouldn’t even be in the church building.” I was surprised as I realized my voice sounded clear and strong. Thank God for small miracles. I glanced at Iris and Hazel in the back row. “Some of you may even feel I shouldn’t be in town. You are all entitled to those opinions.”
