“Mr. Michaels.” I really was slow to catch on. In my defense, it had been such a long, horrible day. “I’m sorry. I never told Darwin he was gay. He came to me after the service and—”
“Enough!” Mr. Michaels sounded like he was beginning to let his firm hold on his anger slip. “I did not come here for you to lie to me. I have already talked with Pastor Bron about you being a leader in the youth group.”
I interrupted him. “I’ve talked to Pastor Bron today. I am no longer a leader in the youth group.”
He shut his mouth and looked like I had just stolen the wind from his sails. “Oh.”
Maudra, however, let her anger spill over. “You what? You’re gonna let the likes a’ him tell you what youcain’t do? Brooklyn Morrison, you cain’t jist quit cus a some ignorant ass!”
Mr. Michaels looked like he was going to tear into Maudra, but I spoke up before he could begin. “It wasn’t a choice. I had to, Maudra. It would tear apart the church. Tyler didn’t have any other option. It was the right thing to do.”
“The right thing to do would have been to never have you in the youth group to begin with. You have no business corrupting our kids.” I thought he was going to go on and accuse me of what he had heard about me from Denver, but it seemed that wasn’t common knowledge yet. I was sure that fact would only remain true for a few more hours.
“I have asked you several times,Mr. Michaels, to leave my house. If’n you ain’t outta here in the next ten seconds, I’m callin’ the police. Ya hear?” Maudra stepped up to the huge man, somehow managing to not look smaller as he towered above her.
He didn’t seem to hear her, all his attention focused on me. “If you ever talk to Darwin again, I will see that you will never work with children anywhere again.”
I couldn’t help but give a bitter laugh. “Don’t worry. That won’t be an issue.” I walked past him and went up to my bedroom. I could hear Maudra berating him below, even after he slammed the door and drove away.
Part Four
Thirty-Four
I refusedto see anyone the rest of Friday and all day Saturday. Donnie came by, and Tyler and Sue called several times. I refused to talk to them. Maudra told me I was behaving like a child, that at a time like this I needed those who loved me close by.
However, after Jed filled her in on what had happened in Denver, she understood that I needed time to myself, going so far as to bring dinner up to the bedroom.
Jed, in typical form, was perfect, giving me just enough time to myself to let me wallow in my misery, but sitting with me in silence at times so that I didn’t end up in a scary, insane place.
I didn’t seem capable of speaking. It was too much effort. I seemed incapable of tears, for once. I wasn’t angry; I was even past being embarrassed. If I felt any humiliation at all, it was due to the fact I wasn’t embarrassed enough.
I felt like there was something I needed to figure out, the “why” of the whole situation. Surely I was supposed to learn something from all of this. It couldn’t be pure happenstance that my life in Denver had followed me here. The very thing that had pushed me to come home, “take care” of my mother, to reconnect with my old life, was now the very thing that was going to make me leave it all once again.
The first night, as I sunk into him, his arms wrapped around me in bed, Jed told me in low tones that he woulddo whatever I needed. We could stay up in Maudra’s guest room for the next year or sneak out in the middle of the night; he could give an hour’s notice to Cottey College, and we could finally move to San Diego, even though we wouldn’t be able afford a cardboard box on the beach; we could get jobs at Sea World—maybe work at the otter and sea lion show. Maybe Disneyland. No one would ever guess it was us under our mouse ears. I am sure many of his scores of options were told in hopes to pry a laugh from my lips. He didn’t let on that he was disappointed when I didn’t even crack a smile.
We would move. Of course we would move. It didn’t have to be San Diego. It could be the godforsaken trailer in Ransom, Kansas, for all I cared. We would move, and I would never work with kids again. Surely if I never looked on the face of a child again, there would be no reason for anyone to ever discover my past life and all its alleged damnable skeletons.
The only thing I was sure about was how to do it. We would have to tell Maudra. We owed her too much to simply leave in the middle of the night, but the Durkes were a different story. I didn’t think I could face Donnie, not after all his faith in me. Not when he was facing his own personal Hell. Even though it would be a few months before Mandy would be large enough that she couldn’t hide her pregnancy any longer, he needed me to be here for him, like he had always been for me. I couldn’t face him and tell him I was abandoning him again. I would have to be true to the meaning of the word. Abandon him in secret. Maybe I would write him later, try to explain. Maybe I wouldn’t.
It was funny. It never entered my mind that Donnie would have doubts about my innocence. I knew he woulddefend me with his last breath, even if he never heard my side of the story. I didn’t think of it enough to worry about it or to take his loyalty for granted.
I hated that Rose would feel like she won. That her son was a pedophile and had to run away in shame. Maybe it would even give her enough strength to get out of her house so she could take part in the gossip against me, adding some stories of her own. The thought of Rose brought to mind the pair of Clayton’s dirty shorts in her bathroom. The thought saddened me. As bad as my life was at the moment, I wouldn’t trade places with her, even to escape everything.
Maudrahad convinced me to come down to the sunroom late Monday afternoon. I did, partly for her and partly for Jed. I knew he would be happy when he came home from work to see me among the living. She had set a homemade cinnamon roll on the table in front of me. I hadn’t touched it. She sat beside me eating one of her own, letting the silence rest comfortably between us. Thurston sat on my lap, relishing my absentminded strokes.
“Knock, knock.”
Maudra and I both jumped at the abrupt interruption and turned to see the voice behind us. Thurston let out a hiss and jumped to the floor, irritated that I had disturbed him.
“Good Lord, Donnie. I could shake ya!” Maudra actually sounded a little irritated with him.
“Sorry, Maudra!” Donnie grinned at her and then looked at me warily. “I knew if I knocked, Brooke would scamper off and lock himself into his room, so I thought it better to just walk in quiet-like.”
I glanced around, trying to determine the quickest exit.
“Don’t even think about it, Brooke. We’re gonna talk.” He sat by Maudra. “Even if I have to kick down the door to your room.”
“Now, there ain’t gonna be any kickin’. You boys aren’t gonna tear up my house.”
