Sister Heinz sighed. “Well, here’s the thing. I’ve been debating on whether to tell y’all or not. Didn’t wanna bring ya down on Christmas, but you know this town. If I didn’t tell you tonight, you’d hear it from somebody else in the morning.” She looked over at Maudra. “And I want you to hear from me.”
Maudra’s face tightened, and she stood a little straighter.
Sister Heinz reached for her hand, and when Maudra extended it, Sister Heinz took it inside both of hers. “Turns out I’m a little sicker than I thought. Sicker than I feel, really. I was just feeling more nauseous than I had been and horrible heartburn, which is why I came in last night. I feel just fine now, in fact. I didn’t think it’d be a big deal, just thought I’d get some medicine and be back home in time to watch Leno. I was hoping he would do those headlines, but I don’t think it was the right night. Those are my favorite part.”
Maudra let out her breath. “Get on with it, for Pete’s sake, girl. You’re killin’ me.”
Sister Heinz laughed softly and spoke in one quick breath. “Turns out I’ve got the cancer. Stomach cancer. Seems I’ve had it for a while. They said sometimes it happens like this. That you don’t feel a thing, and then it just hits you all at once. Too late to do anything about. I guess I’m lucky I haven’t felt worse than I have. ’Course they said if I’d come in earlier, they might have been able to do something for it.”
Maudra didn’t say anything. She just stared at her, her gaze frozen.
Zephyra’s voice was soft and sounded close to tears. “They said they can’t do anything?”
Sister Heinz never took her eyes off Maudra. “No, dear. Nothing they can do. It’s just up to the Lord now.”
I saw Maudra swallow. I could barely make out her words. “How long?”
“They don’t really know. You know that. Doctors are wrong all the time.”
“How long?” Maudra repeated.
“A couple weeks. A few months at most.” A tear finally crept from Sister Heinz’s eyes.
As it rolled down her cheek, Maudra wiped away one of her own.
No one spoke in the room, not even the children. The silence was heavy, paralyzing.
Finally, Sister Heinz shook her head and wiped her eyes. “Goodness, look at me. I’m so sorry to take on so. I’m not scared. Not really.” She took her eyes off Maudra and looked around at the rest of us. “I’ve been saying for years that I wish the Lord would hurry up and take me home to be with Mr. Heinz.” Her eyes teared up again. “I’ve missed Kenneth so much. Even after all these years. It’s amazing how much it still hurts. Why, I’ve spent more time without him than we were actually married.” She wiped her eyes again. “To be honest, I’m excited. I can’t wait to see him again. Can’t wait to be with the Lord either, of course.” She looked at Sue this time. “Do you think it’s bad that I’m more excited to see Kenneth than I am the Lord?”
Sue reached out and stroked her cheek. “Of course not, sweetie.”
Zephyra broke in. “They have to be able to do something. It doesn’t make any sense that you’d feel okay and then they tell you they can’t do anything. We can go to Kansas City. They have more cutting-edge equipment there. They will be able to do something.”
Sister Heinz smiled at her gently. “Thank you for caring so much, dear. I don’t want to go to a bunch of doctors and have them all tell me the same thing. Even if there is something we could do, I don’t want to. Maudra and I have seen too many of our friends go through all those cancer treatments. None of them work, at least not for long. I don’t want to lose my hair and lie in bed constantly. That isn’t any life—not worth going through all the pain.”
Maudra had regained her composure, though she looked as if she would crack into a thousand pieces at the slightest provocation. “You’re right, dear. I would do the same thing. Better a few good days than a bunch of horrible ones.”
We stayed until a nurse told us we had to leave. Before we left, we all gathered around Sister Heinz and placed our hands on her. Sue led us in prayer, both asking for God’s will to be done and for God to heal her.
After saying amen, Zephyra gave Sister Heinz a final hug. “I’m sure God is going to heal you, Sister Heinz. What a miracle it would be!”
Sister Heinz just shook her head. “No, dear. He won’t. I’ve never been a big advocate of everybody praying all the time to be healed, as if they expect God to let them live forever. It’s my time. Can’t say I’m not nervous, but I can feel it. God’s gonna take me.”
Maudra finally let go of SisterHeinz’s hands. “I’ll be back tomorrow, and every day until you leave the hospital.”
On our way out, Sister Heinz grabbed my hand and lowered her voice. “Brooke, dear, would you come see me tomorrow? By yourself?”
It took me a second to answer. “Of course I will.”
I wentin first thing in the morning. I told Maudra that Sister Heinz asked to speak to me on my own. Maudra had planned on staying at the hospital all day. She said she would wait until I got back before she would go. Other than red-rimmed eyes, she looked back to her normal self. Better, actually. She was dressed in one of her fancier dresses. It was a muted yellow, with rose-colored trimmings, puff shoulders, tapered tight at the forearm to wrist. “They’ll be reason ta wear black soon ’nough. Might as well try ta make that horrid room a little more cheery, if possible.”
Only Maudra.
I was nervous about seeing Sister Heinz. I couldn’t figure out any reason she would ask to see me on my own. Even Jed wasn’t any help in this area. The only thing either one of us could think of was that she was going to tell me she loved me but wanted to see me get my life back on track before she died. Renounce my evil gay ways, promise her that I would meet her in Heaven. I wasn’t sure what I would say to that. I, of course, couldn’t and wouldn’t stop being gay and being married to Jed, but how do you tell a dying woman, “Thanks for caring. Sorry you’re dying. Doesn’t change anything.”
I didn’t think that was what she wanted, though. She had seemed to genuinely approve of Jed. Still, Icouldn’t think of any other reason. Dying does strange things to people.
She was awake and sitting up in bed watching a cooking show on the TV when I walked into the room. She smiled at me broadly when she noticed me.
