“Omar.”
I twisted my face into a grimace of distaste. “Don’t blame him? Are you kidding me? I blame him! He nearly killed both of us, not to mention he’s the one who alerted Gwala that I existed. He started this whole damn thing.”
Schwint turned toward me, bringing his left leg up to rest on the bed while letting the injured one dangle off the side. He placed his right hand over where our hands were still grasped. “Nah. He’s no more responsible than we are. From what you said, Gwala was using his wife’s life to control him.”
“That still doesn’t make it okay.”
“Yeah. I know. However, it sounds like Gwala’s putting you in the same position.” He raised his hand and held it up, cutting me off before I could argue. “It’s not a judgment or anything, just a fact. If you don’t do what the vampires want you to do with the mers, they kill me and your sisters. And anyone else they think will make you obey them.” He shook his head and looked away. “I’m still surprised there are mers. I’ve heard other fairies talk about such things, and while I didn’t completely discount their existence, I definitely didn’t believe any were left. And to think they’rehere. Have been here. Doing nothing more than being a delicacy for overprivileged vampires.” He turned back to me. “Did he say if there were more mers out there, or do they have all that’s left?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think he said anything about it.” I wasn’t worried about the species as a whole. Schwint comparing me to Omar was hitting a little too close to home. “Actually, yeah, I think there has to be more out there. If they were getting too inbred and he needed fresh blood, he had to get the redhead from somewhere, right?”
“Oh, right. That’s a good sign. I can’t imagine if there were only a few fairies left and we were nothing more than slaves.”
“So, you think I’m like Omar?”
Schwint’s gaze refocused on me, realizing how I was taking his thoughts. “No. Not like that. He’d lost all semblance of any soul he might have ever had.”
“But that could be true for me too, if I have to do what they are telling me. I’ve got to basically force two people, two mers, to… I don’t even know what to call it… rape each other? All for the purpose of having the offspring of that rape be nothing more than a meal for a vampire so he can be out in the sunshine?” Hearing it out loud, it sounded both more horrifying and ridiculous than it did in my head. “And who knows what else is coming. He said that’s the most important thing. Just think about what Omar was doing to me back home, the whole time he was doing the mermaid thing. Maybe every minute of every day, he was being forced to do some fucked-up thing to keep Hazel alive. And it could have gone on for centuries.” All of a sudden, I was fully getting on board with Schwint’s point of view. At some point, Omar might have been a normal warlock like I had been. Maybe discovered in the same way by the very one whose spot he’d taken.
Schwint squeezed my hand, thankfully not attempting to soothe with words. No words could help. It was strange to see this side of Schwint. Most of the time, even since we’d been at the Cathedral, he was always the light and funny one. The one to be overly flirtatious. A little arrogant. Offering a simple sense of ease and joy. Having him be deep and reflective doubled my own natural tendency to be that way as well.
Though his words were addressed to me, Schwint seemed lost to a world far away. “Hazel and I didn’t always get along. We had several times where we needed what the other could provide, but our relationship was tenuous at best. If I had realized what she was going through, I might have been a little more patient with her bitchy ways.”
I’d gotten the impression Schwint and Hazel had some sort of history together, but I’d never asked what it had entailed. She’d been such a strange woman. “Why do you think she tasted my blood?”
He shrugged but brought his attention back to me. “I have no idea.”
“I kinda got the impression from Omar that was part of the reason she was killed. I’m not sure. Omar did the same thing, though.”
“You’re the witch. Is there some magic spell or something that ingesting another’s blood will help with?”
I laughed. “Are you kidding me? I didn’t even know I could do half the stuff I’m learning now. I’d have no clue about dark magic that would require blood.” Gwala’s voice telling me that he’d give me more transfusions to keep me alive filled my memory. “Maybe having to drink Gwala’s blood—I assume Hazel did too—made them crave blood.” I could hear the panic rising in my voice.
“It’s possible.” Schwint stretched out his arm, his fingers curling around the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine with a long, soft kiss.
My eyes burned as he kissed me, but no tears fell.
“I love you. We’ll figure this out.”
I laughed, and the tears that wouldn’t fall threatened again. “Really? You think we’ll figure this out.”
His silence answered louder than words. He smiled a sheepish, apologetic grin. “I love you.”
I let my cheek rest in his hand. “Yeah, why is that again? Your life has been nothing but hell since we started dating. I’m notthatgood at sex.”
His smile broadened into something genuine. “You are, actually. And as far as loving you, I could list a billion reasons already, and it’s a sure bet the longer we’re together, the more that will arise. Despite that, or because of it, the truth is, I can’t honestly tell you why. I wanted to go out with you, fuck you, but I wasn’t planning on falling in love with you like I did, not as quickly as I did. It wasn’t like I was looking for something serious. In fact, as damaged as Brett left you, it seemed like a pretty safe bet that serious wasn’t going to be in the cards for a long, long time. It simply happened. I don’t have a choice in it. I love you.”
“You’re choosing to be here.”
Again he shrugged, as if such a decision was no big deal. “Yeah, I’m choosing to be with you. Not to love you, that’s not a choice. And since I love you, that ultimately makes everything else not a choice either.”
“That’s pretty black-and-white logic for such an easy-come, easy-go fairy as yourself.”
“I can’t say I understand either. Doesn’t change the truth of it, though.”
I leaned into him again, kissing his beautiful lips with all the emotion I was afraid to put into words. If I started talking about how much I loved him, I’d start to expel all my other thoughts and feelings. The fear of what I was going to become if I did what Gwala commanded. Of what would become of everyone else if I didn’t.
A knock interrupted the kiss. Schwint pulled away and looked toward the door. “Must be time. I still can’t imagine what they want. We’ve never been commanded to join him for dinner before. Orinvited, as Gwala called it.”
