Strangely, I was both disappointed and relieved at her words. I didn’t want Nalu for her, but if they were going to be together, I wanted to know she really wanted him—not that she was just following through with some old-time custom. Tiny glowing bluish-green specks drifted between us. Their flickering light reminded me of lightning bugs I’d seen in movies. I reached out trying to touch one.
“Are you angered with me?”
Lelas’s question drew my attention away from the flecks of light and replaced my hand over hers.“Lelas, of course not. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”
“You have seemed angry at me all day, since Nalu.”
I was surprised she’d noticed. I didn’t think she’d been aware of anything other than Nalu. I should have known better.“I’m not angry, Lelas, and I’m the one who should be apologizing. I’m sorry. I should be happy for you. Instead I’ve been selfish, worrying I’m losing my best friend again.”
She smiled at me sadly.“I am not Sonia, Brett. I am in no danger. And you are in no danger of losing me. It is true that I do not know what the future will look like, and every time I think of it, I start to panic, but I know that our friendship will endure.”
The idea that she’d been worried about what was going to happen next somehow comforted me and strangely helped me trust what was happening between her and Nalu. I couldn’t trust something that seemed too good to be true, too instantly perfect. If she was feeling such concerns, it made sense that Nalu was as well. Maybe they’d already spoken about them. Probably not, considering they hadn’t even known each other a day.“I’m sorry, Lelas. Again, really, I am so sorry. I’ve not been a good friend to you today.”
If I wasn’t mistaken, she actually rolled her eyes.“Knowing you as I do, I know that your selfish questions actually come from a place of concern for me, and out of love. At least, on some level.”
She did know me well. Maybe she and Sonia would have gotten along better than I’d thought.
We sat in silence for a while, each shedding the layers of awkwardness between us. Finally, I looked over at her, grinning despite myself. My cliché gay-boy thrilling at the prospect of playing maid of honor.“So, do we have a wedding to plan?”
“A wedding?”
I shook my head. I really should be able to predict what words wouldn’t translate by now.“Ah, will you and Nalu have some sort of ceremony to celebrate finding one another? One that mates you together.”
“Is that what humans do?”
I nodded.
“Tell me about it.”
In that moment, Lelas lost her tail, she was no longer shirtless, we weren’t under the water. She was simply a young and innocent girl wanting to be told about a wedding. Like a child hearing her first fairy tale of everlasting love.
“Well, typically, a wedding is more for the woman, the female. Although there are men who love weddings as much as girls do too.”I left out that most of those men were as gay as I was.“The couple invites everyone they know to a ceremony where they proclaim their love to one another and promise to spend their life together. Everyone dresses up in fancy clothes. The woman—she’s called a bride—wears a long white dress that makes her look like a princess. There’s a cake… ah, a whole bunch of sweet foods. There’s beautiful music, and it’s all very romantic.”
Lelas’s gaze had grown unfocused and dreamy as I spoke, trying to visualize the picture I so poorly painted with so many words she wouldn’t have a reference for. The smile that played over her lips made me think she got the gist, though.
“It sounds wonderful. Is that what you would have one day if you were to stay on land? Would you wear the… what did you call it? Dress? Or would the man you love?”For a second I thought she was teasing, then realized she wasn’t, of course. She would have no idea what a dress was, much less how silly I’d look in one.
Finn’s chocolate eyes floated before me as I remembered how we had spoken of “forever,” even after only a week. How I’d actually let myself fall in love with and envision building a life with him. A sweet dream, though one that caused me to panic and run away. The thought still heightened my heart rate.
“No, two men aren’t allowed to get married, to have that type of ceremony. They are where I am from, but not in most places.”
Her brows knitted.“For what reason?”
I let out a laugh.“For the same reasons Syleen didn’t want me to be a part of the tribe.”
“I thought humans would not be driven by such old ways and archaic thinking.”
“You’d be surprised. Mers aren’t the only ones who cling to fear.”
She withdrew one of her hands from mine and patted my cheek.“Things will change. I can’t say they will with humans, but I believe they will with us. Even in the short time you’ve been here, Syleen has grown to accept you as a full member of the Chromis tribe.”
“Yeah, right!”
“She has. You are on her mission with us now, are you not?”
“It’s not like she had a choice. She needed me because of my legs. That’s all.”
Lelas leaned into me, as if sharing a secret.“You know as well as I do that Syleen always has a choice and does nothing she does not want to.”
