“You sealed him inside?”
I shrugged. “He’s a demon. He can move the stone if he needs to. Plus, I figure he’ll stay down there awhile. Probably the safest place to be for now. It’s not like Gwala goes down there for morning swims or anything.”
He tilted his chin in agreement, then returned to staring out the window. Maybe he was looking at the surf on the beach or at the sun as it began to rise in the sky, but I doubted it.
I stared at him, much the same way I’d inspected Cynthia. He felt a million miles away. Farther than he’d ever been before. There might as well have been a thick pane of glass between us.
He was in his true fairy form. Ears pointed, slightly more willowy and otherworldly than the appearance he usually projected. The sunlight caught the black and silver of his salt-and-pepper hair, as well as highlighted the lean muscles of his upper body.
He was beautiful, my fairy. I’d thought it before, but it struck me anew after having just left Brett. He was as beautiful as my demon ex, but completely different. Fully different kinds of beauty.
I ridiculed myself at the thought. Like any of that mattered anyway. Sure, I’d been enamored by Brett’s looks, but that hadn’t been the reason I’d fallen so hard for him. Neither was it the reason I was in love with Schwint.
And in that regard, there was no issue of equality. None. This fairy, this man, had left his whole life behind to come with me to help save my sister from the Royals. I’d said as much to Brett mere moments ago, but it had been more of a defense. The evidence washed over me as I stared at him. From the beginning, he’d accepted me where I’d been. He hadn’t freaked out that I was still hurting from Brett. Hadn’t run away when Omar had nearly crippled me with headaches. Hadn’t flinched when, well, ever. He’d been steady and true. Always.
No equality in terms of the love Schwint had shown to me. Nor in the love I felt for him. I’d told him as much, that I loved him more than I’d loved Brett. I doubted he ever believed it. And maybe I hadn’t really either.
Having just been with Brett, the truth of it now coursed through me. Brett had a part of my heart, and he always would. A small part, it turned out. The rest belonged to Schwint. My heart and my life.
I slid off the bed and padded up to Schwint. Slipping my arms around his chest, I pulled myself into him, resting my cheek on the back of his shoulder blade. “I love you.”
He’d begun to curve into me but stiffened at my words. “I’m sorry I got weird. You don’t have to—”
I pulled away and repositioned myself between him and window. “Of course you got weird. It was weird, and I didn’t know what to do. You don’t have to be sorry. I’m the one who should be sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
“You didn’t need me getting jealous right then, like you said. I should—”
I held up my hand, cutting him off. “No. No more apologies. It’s past, and we’re here.” His gaze darted away, and I waited until he looked back at me. “I love you, Schwint. With all my heart. You are the one I want. You already were, and I’m sorry if I haven’t done a good enough job making sure you know it.”
His huge yellow eyes were still distant as they searched mine. “Brett’s here now. He might—”
“It wouldn’t matter if he were right here with us this very instant. I choose you. I will always choose you.”
“Are you sure?”
I couldn’t suppress my smile. “Yes. I’m sure. Completely sure. I love you.”
He kissed me, the vestiges of his reserve falling away.
Again the sense of foreboding washed over me, as it had when Caitlin walked away. Suddenly, it was clear. I wasn’t going to make it through this. If Cynthia and Caitlin made it, it was a small price to pay. If Schwint made it.
For a heartbeat, I felt guilty at my next impulse. Too much was at stake. It could all go down any second. We should be getting ready. We should be preparing to fight.
Pulling back from Schwint’s kiss, I commanded myself to stay in the moment. With the man holding me in his arms. Worry about what happened next whenever it happened.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I searched his kind eyes, making sure he was able to read how much I meant the words so they would last. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Finn.”
“I know.” I looked toward the bed. “Make love to me.”
Forty-Two
FINN DE MORISCO
I wasn’tsure how much time passed. Not enough, I was certain of that. As much as we’d waited for this moment to come, I now wanted this time to last indefinitely. Stay right on the edge of the fight. Where we knew the end was near but had yet to pay the price.
