“Brett—”
“I’m sorry. Finn, I’m sorry. There’s a million reasons I did what I did, but none of them are good enough. I never should have left you like I did.”
He stared at me, his expression unreadable.
I faltered. “I’m not saying that you needed to be all torn up or anything. I wish I’d—”
His bitter laugh cut me off. “All torn up? That doesn’t even begin…” He shook his head, as if trying to clear it. “No. We can’t do this. I don’t want to.”
I couldn’t put my finger on what I was feeling. Guilt, of course, but also something more. I wanted to see Finn again. Really see him. The man standing in front of me who looked like him was so far away that it was worse than not seeing him at all. “Do you love him?”
He flinched. “I don’t think you get to ask that.”
“Please. I know I shouldn’t. I just need to know you’re happy. I need to know you’re okay. Do you love him?”
He snorted in disgust, then gestured around the room. “Am I okay? Really? Do I look okay, Brett? I’m in the Vampire Cathedral. My sister is trapped. Mom and Dad were both nearly killed. And I about fucking lost my sanity—and that was before any of this shit happened! And you ask if I’m okay?” He halted and glanced up, as if worried his heightened tone might make it all the way up through the stone.
I let go of his arm and took a step back. “You’re right. Again, I’m sorry.”
I turned around and headed toward the pool.
“Brett.”
I looked back at him.
He let out a long sigh, his shoulders slumping. He looked older than ever, but when his eyes met mine, I saw a hint of the man I’d loved before. “Sorry. I thought about what words I’d say to you countless times. None of them were that. And I never thought it would be here, like this.”
“I shouldn’t have asked. It’s okay.”
“I do love him. Schwint. I love him.”
Beneath the sting of that, I was happy to realize a part of me was glad. I knew I’d never be what Finn needed, even if I could stay on land. I needed him to be okay. To be happy. “He’s good to you?”
Finn laughed. This time a real one, and with it, I saw more of the man who’d been so full of life. It was good to know he was still in there somewhere. “He came here with me. Willing to die to help me and my family. Yeah. I’d say he’s good to me.”
“Good. You deserve it.”
Finn didn’t say anything for a moment, but I could see he was battling with something. Debating what to say. “So, you found out what the other part of your bloodline was, it seems.”
I glanced behind me toward the pool. “Yeah. Crazy.”
“Is that where you were? Living in the ocean?”
I nodded. “I never dreamed anything like it.” Suddenly I wanted to sit down and tell him everything. About finding my father, dealing with the tribe. Lelas. Wrell. To tell someone who knew who I was before. Someone who loved me.
“That explains why I couldn’t find you. Never thought to look there.”
So he had looked for me. Guilt at the thought of him searching aimlessly for me dampened the comfort of him caring so much.
Finn motioned back toward the stairs. “I need to get back to Schwint.”
“Sure. I guess I should be getting down to see how the mers are, let them know we’re going to try to get them out of here.”
Finn grimaced. “They’ve been through hell, Brett. I don’t even want to tell you what’s been done to them. What Gwala was going to make me do to them.”
I was pretty sure I had a good idea. “Now you won’t have to. This is almost done.”
“I hope so.”
