How had our family become so tense in such a small amount of time? My parents’ house was never quiet, probably not even when everyone was sleeping. How much more tense would it be if they found out about their son’s naked drug trip?
So what? Go have another one. Blow off thisLeave It to Beavermelodrama.
I couldn’t just sit in silence anymore. I wasn’t ready to leave either. I knew I wouldn’t head home yet. As much as I hated it, the voice’s suggestion sounded nearly too good to pass up. I’d end up at the Square or on Beverly’s front porch. I wasn’t sure which was more pathetic. “So, Caitlin, what’s up with you and Christina?
Cynthia got out a little whimper before Caitlin could reply.
It seemed Cate was battling between wanting to chew me out for speaking to her and her desire to unleash about Christina.
Getting to complain about another sibling won out. “Well, it’s really more about Ricky, but of course Christina has his back. Similar to you, it seems. Putting a man before family.”
It grated, but I let the dig pass. At least she was talking to me instead of screaming. This was an improvement.
Her light-brown eyes widened as she launched into her tale. “Saul was with me at the Lair. Ricky had something to do over at Dad’s, so Saul had come to hang out with me. You know how he loves to look at all the colors of the makeup and stuff.”
I nodded. Not that it mattered. Caitlin was already so engrossed in her story, it didn’t really require any response from me.
“Tess was simply explaining why a person should choose a base and tinted moisturizer instead of normal face lotion—”
“No, I can’t do it. We don’t need to hear this again, Caitlin.” Mom raised her hands, her voice not angry or loud, just a concerning tinge of weary exasperation. I would have felt better if she’d started one of her typical tirades. “There’s been enough drama for one day. Even if there hadn’t been, it’s time for you and Christina to put this behind you. Neither of you is right or wrong. However, Saul is her and Ricky’s son. You need to give that some respect.”
In what had to be divine intervention, Caitlin only balked a little before regaining her composure. “Okay, Mom. It’s time for me to get home, anyway. Maybe I can salvage my plans for the evening.” Her gaze slid over to me, then back to Mom. “Besides, Finn doesn’t deserve the gossip. If he’d been part of this family lately, he wouldn’t have to ask.” Short-lived miracles.
After a brief round of hugs, excluding me of course, Caitlin was gone. No sooner had the door clicked shut than Cynthia floated over and gave Mom and Dad silent hugs good-night. As she passed me on the way to the stairs, she ran her fingers through my hair. She looked nearly as exhausted as Mom. She’d always been a little high-strung. After the past few months of demons, vampires, deaths, and family drama, she must be at her breaking point.
With a flick of my finger, a warm breeze followed her up the stairs, ruffling her hair and long skirt. Her eyes met mine, and a soft smile graced her lovely face before she rounded the corner into the hallway that led to her bedroom.
And then there were three.
So, Mom and Dad. Here’s the deal. I’ve been stalking Brett’s grandma every night since he left. I’ve been looking for the vampire that tried to kill your oldest grandson and did kill an “adopted” member of the family. I’ve been going to the Square. I’ve been having sex with people I don’t know. Oh, hey, speaking of sex, I just had a daylong binge with a fairy after getting high off some human druggie’s blood. And while we’re at it, you might as well know I haven’t cleaned my house since Brett’s been gone, not even the toilet.
Silence. At least five minutes. Maybe five months, give or take.
“Do you really think you’ll come in to the bakery tomorrow morning?” Mom’s quiet voice was loud in the void. Her angst over her only son’s pain deafening.
“Yeah, Mom. I’ll be there. I promise.”
There may have been tears threatening to spill. “That would be wonderful. I’ve missed you there. So has Cynthia.”
“We all have.” Dad bridged the gap between us, his right hand remaining on Mom’s knee while his left grasped mine. “We’ve tried everything we know to help you, Son. We finally decided you needed time on your own to grieve. To not have us bothering you.”
“You weren’t bothering me.” Even I didn’t believe the lie. They hadn’t bee. But every call, every gesture to help me be okay felt like badgering, felt like salt in my wounds, felt like they knew Brett was never coming back.
Dad gave a small grin. He didn’t believe me either.
“Really. I’m gonna get back on track. I’ll come in every day to work. No more missing. No more not following through on what I need to do.”
“Finn, you know it’s not about the work. We can manage with what we have for as long as you need.” Mom leaned forward, almost tentatively. “But I do think it will be good for you. It may help you feel like yourself again. Remember who you used to be. Before him….”
I couldn’t contain my wince. Before him. Before Brett. I didn’t want to go back to the time before Brett. I didn’t want to be in this after-Brett time either. I wanted the time to just be. In those few short days, I’d felt more alive than I ever had before. I hadn’t been sad or depressed before him. I’d been great, actually. I loved life. I’d been content. But then Brett showed up. Now I knew what I was missing. Now the hole that had been invisible before was eroding, consuming all of me. How could I go back to who I was, who I had been? I’d been without him; I just hadn’t known it yet.
Mom tried again. “You can bake all the things you love. Make up all that stuff that I can’t imagine putting in one dish, but you make taste like it had no choice but to be together. Everyone’s been asking about you. I’ve let them know you were taking a little break, that you’d be back. Many of them call every day.”
The bakery had always done well, but it had boomed once I had graduated culinary school and returned to work at the family businesses. While Mom and Dad weren’t in danger of losing the house or needing to scrimp to get by, neither were they at risk of falling into fountains of money. Guilt stabbed at me again. I wasn’t only hurting myself. I had to get control of myself again. Even if I couldn’t be who I was before, I could at least be here for my family.
“I will, Mom.” I forced a smile for her. I needed her to be okay. I wished she’d turn loose and rail at me, let me know she was still in there somewhere. I couldn’t hurt my family. My pain was bad enough without that. “Maybe something with shredded chicken, fennel, feta cheese, and cherries.”
Her smile was a little more reminiscent of her normal vitality. “See! That sounds completely horrible to me. I’m sure everyone will absolutely love it!”
