I rolled my eyes. “So, wanna head to my folks and take a stab at figuring out this Vampire Cathedral thing?”
All teasing left his face.
Thirty
FINN DE MORISCO
I textedMom on the way to the house to make sure they were there and to give them a heads-up that they were about to meet Schwint. As we pulled into the dark driveway, I couldn’t help but have a flashback to the first night I’d brought Brett home, unconscious in the cab of the truck, having just been accosted by the vampire. It was surreal how things had changed in the past several months. Going about my everyday life, overtaken by a demon, falling in love, getting my heart broken, diving into darker depths of my psyche than I ever dreamed possible, only to be on the path to falling in love again. It felt a little full circle. I couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or bad.
I slammed the truck into park and took the keys from the ignition. I turned to Schwint and attempted to give him a reassuring smile. I don’t think I succeeded. “You ready? It’s not too late to back out if this is too soon.”
“I’m good. No big deal.” He even looked like he meant it. “Areyouokay? We don’t have to do this.”
“Nah, I’m fine. Really.” To prove my point, I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss before slipping out of the truck.
We were a couple of feet from the door when I felt Schwint squeeze my hand. “Actually, do you mind if you go in first? I’ll follow in a minute or two. I just need a moment.” Maybe he wasn’t as calm as he seemed.
“Sure. I can wait, if you want. That way we can go in together. There’s no rush.”
He shook his head. “No, it’s okay. Go on. Leave the door unlocked. I’ll be right there.”
“Okay.” I returned his hand squeeze and walked through the door, leaving him beginning to pace on the front lawn.
Glancing around the room, I didn’t see anyone. “Hello?”
Mom’s head popped around the kitchen cabinets. “Oh, hi, sweetheart! I didn’t even hear your truck pull in.” She walked around the corner, drying her hands on a dishtowel and craning her head to see behind me. “I thought you said Schwint was going to be with you.”
“Oh, he is. He just needed a minute.” I shrugged. “I guess, meeting the parents for the first time and all.”
I knew the look she gave me all too well. It said, “Be careful. You’re moving too fast. I’m glad you’re not hurting like you were. Are you really doing okay?” all in one expression. Instead of attempting to answer her, I walked over and wrapped my arms around her. “It’s good to see you, Mom. Thanks for being willing to have us come over so late at such short notice.”
She gave me a soft kiss on the cheek. “No thanking me for that! Goodness!”
Dad appeared over Mom’s shoulder, cookies steaming from a tray held between his gloved hands. “Hi, Son. Good to see you! That new boy of yours stay away after all? Or were you just making him up to get me to throw extra cookies in the oven?”
Before I could answer, I heard the door open behind me. As it did, Dad’s eyes bulged like they were going to rocket from his face, and his mouth dropped open. I felt Mom stiffen beside me.
I turned to see what had caused their shocked reactions, and there she was. Larger than life. In the smallness of our entryway, she looked even more massive than she’d seemed before. The huge purple blossoms covering the yards of fabric clothing Bertha clashed with the orange socks sticking out from the toes of her white sandals. She seemed even more preposterous than she had in Panaderia.
She waved a chubby ringed hand at the three of us. “Hi, ya’ll! It’s just great to meet ya!”
The three of us stood, staring agog, unable to speak.
Bertha closed the door, heavy breasts swaying with the motion, then took a couple of steps into the room. “Such a lovely place y’all got here. Really nice!” She motioned to the sunken living room and then waggled one of her sandaled feet. “Orange shag carpeting. Haven’t seen that in forever. I love it! Matches my socks!”
For a moment, I was truly baffled about what was going on. I hadn’t thought of Bertha in so long that she’d completely separated from Schwint in my mind. I struggled to put together the idea of the two of them being the same person.
Bertha continued, the hillbilly twang that had barely been noticeable in the bakery now getting thicker with every word. “I’ve jist heard a ton about ya’ll! I’m jist so excited to meet ya both!”
I closed the distance between us, attempting to lean in close enough to whisper. One of her breasts brushed my arm. “What are you doing?”
Her eyes flicked from me over to Mom and Dad and then back. She opened her mouth to reply, then closed it. Her cheeks flared red.
I asked again. This time, my teeth clenched. “What are you doing?”
Again, her eyes darted among the three of us. Before she could even blink, she was gone, and Schwint stood in her place, his large yellow eyes downcast, the muumuu replaced with the jeans and baby-blue button-down he’d been wearing moments before. The only bit of Bertha remaining was the scarlet hue on his cheeks, which was rushing down into his collar.
“Sorry. I was just trying to break the ice. I thought everyone would laugh.” His voice sounded so timid that the flash of anger I’d felt dissipated instantly.
