The wolf’s dark eyes shot to us, then zoned in on Schwint. “You know, the only thing I hate worse than a vamp is a fairy. And a fag fairy at that.”
Schwint glowered back. “You don’t want faggy little fairies talking about your rod, don’t bring it up, dude.”
Marina whirled. “Shut up! Both of you. We get it. Werewolves and fairies don’t mix. Must you two reenact this every time you see each other? Get a room already, and either kill each other or fuck, one or the other!”
Farvin growled. “Not even if it were a female fairy.” He gestured toward Schwint. “Which, nearly close enough.”
Schwint craned his head to see around me. “Not even if you had a foot-long schlong.”
I squeezed Schwint’s knee, trying to get him to stop.
“You fuckin’ faggot. I’m gonna—”
Marina slammed her hand on the glass countertop. “Enough!” She turned to Schwint. “For your information, his cock ismorethan a foot long.”
Schwint’s eyes widened more than I wanted to admit. Although I couldn’t deny the thought was intriguing.
She spun on Farvin. “And you! No telling who or what you’d fuck with enough Jägermeister and Spor in you!”
He held out his hands in an innocent gesture. “Ah, come on, baby. I love you. You know you’re the only—”
She waved him off. “Shove it!” She turned to the liquor, arranged by bottle color behind the bar, poured herself a shot of something, and slammed it. “How were things in the back room?”
Farvin’s heavy shoulders rose and fell in a solitary shrug. “Business as usual.” He looked at me. “Speaking of, haven’t seen you back there in nearly a month. Thought you were gonna be a permanent fixture.”
“Nah. Just a phase.” I turned from him. Farvin always made me nervous. The combination of his massive physique, sexiness, werewolf temperament, and genuine barely contained homophobia left me at a loss on how to react to him. I knew the only reason he tolerated us, especially together—it had been bad enough with only me, but even worse now with Schwint here—was because of Marina and out of respect for my dad.
I focused on Marina. “I love your new hair.”
She turned, her smile genuine this time. “Yeah?” She ran her fingers through her shorn blonde hair, which was now cut to her occipital bone in the back and then tapered on either side to right above her breasts, the lower half inch dyed flaming pink. “I’d had that same mass of hair my whole life. I feel like I’ve lost fifty pounds.” She had the body of a Barbie doll, but the irony of her statement seemed lost on her. Her chin jerked toward Farvin. “He hates it.”
Farvin let out a groan. “For the thousandth time, Marina. I don’t hate it. You look gorgeous. You always do. I just like the other better. A man likes to have his woman’s hair to hold on to.”
She ignored him, returning her attention to Schwint. “Three weeks, huh?”
He nodded, a cheesy smile plastered to his face. “Yep.” He gave me a twisted grin. “What is that in gay time, Finn? We’ve passed our golden anniversary a few days ago, huh?”
“See?” Farvin plopped down on one of the barstools three spaces down from me, his elbows crashing to the counter. “Why do I need to respect that? Can’t even be serious enough to begin a genuine, committed relationship.”
Marina let out a barking scoff. “And who was that wood nymph you brought into our bed for a threesome last night?”
A devilish expression lit his eyes. “I dunno. Think she mighta been a relationship counselor.”
“Considering the orgasm she gave me, I’d say you might be right,” Marina shot back. “I’d almost forgotten what one felt like.”
I leaned forward in a mock whisper. “Sweetie, if your man’s dick is more than a foot long, you’re not gonna convince any of us that you don’t have an orgasm at least three times a day.”
Farvin leaned across the space between us and slapped my back so hard I felt it in my molars. “I knew there was a reason I put up with your faggot ass!”
If I wasn’t insane, I was fairly certain I detected a hint of actual fondness behind his words.
A couple of trolls evacuated the booth they’d been sharing and made their way to the door that led to the back room. Well, witches, actually, but ugly enough they might as well have been trolls.
Farvin shuddered, then looked at me. “No wonder you haven’t been to the back rooms in a while.”
Schwint slipped his arm around my shoulders. “What’s my warlock gonna need the back room for when he’s got all he needs right here.”
I shot him a glare. He loved baiting Farvin.
