I searched his gaze. I knew his promise of love was true. That he would always love me. I also knew he wasn’t promising to stay with me no matter what. That he had expectations.
I understood living under expectations.
However, his weren’t unreasonable. Or even about him.
He simply demanded I live and never give up.
“I trust you, Noah. I trust your love.”
“Good. And I trust yours.” He lowered his head again, reclaiming my lips, never breaking the kiss as he moved inside me. Even as he increased his pace. Even as he released into me and gasped my name, his lips never left mine.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“I’M NOTworried about it.” Kayla waved off my concerns with a flick of her chopsticks. “You’re both in wigs and are surprisingly unrecognizable unless a person knows who they’re looking for. Dustin isn’t going to find out that I’m having lunch with you. And if he does, whatever. I’m over thinking about that.”
Despite her bravado, I knew Kayla wasn’t being completely honest in that regard. She might push the boundaries as much as she was able to, but there was nothing to be gained by going into full-out rebellion on Dustin’s limits. The cost was too high. And we both knew it more than we wanted to admit.
Kayla insisted on meeting us for lunch after seeing the texts I sent of us trying on wigs the day before. We were back at Wild Ginger, which was easily walkable from Pike Place Market.
After the night before, if Kayla hadn’t been so excited about seeing us in our wigs, I might have suggested we try the tourist thing as ourselves that day. I felt like a fraud putting on the wig that morning. Like I was betraying Noah’s love or some shit. He assured me I was being neurotic.
“I think this is a brilliant idea, by the way. I may have to get a wig myself. Might make things easier when I need a few minutes away. Of course, I’d be afraid of what stuffing all my hair up into one of those things might do.”
“Are you going to tell Bailey you saw me today?” Part of me hoped Kayla would take Bailey out of school and bring her to lunch as well.
Kayla shook her head. “You know better. She’s worse at keeping secrets than I am. Dustin would know the minute he walked through the door. She’s going crazy not seeing you, though. It’s so hard to watch. I feel like the worst mother in the world that I can’t figure out a way to fix this for her. She loves you more than anyone and depends on you. You’re the one spot of normalcy in her world. You let her just be her.”
Guilt sliced through me, and Noah knowingly squeezed my hand in his on top of the table. “I’m so sorry, Kayla. I feel so horrible that she’s going through this. That because of me—”
“No. You stop it right there. Neither one of us is taking blame for the stupid decrees your dad and brother make. Least of all you. You were born into the Morgan family. I married into it. By choice.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t realize all that meant.”
“You tried to tell me before I married him. That it wasn’t all love, money, and glamour.”
Noah chuckled. “Love, money, and glamour? Those were Randall’s exact words?”
Kayla crinkled her nose at him. “Well, no, but the gist is the same. Sometimes I feel like I sold my soul for a diamond ring.”
I leaned closer. “You have a hell of a lot more diamonds than just a ring.”
She swatted at me. “Oh, stop it. You know what I mean.”
Yes, I did. More than I wanted to. “Well, soulless or not, I can’t tell you how good it is to see you. This meal makes me feel almost normal. Though I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.”
The waitress came over and dropped off the bill at that moment, causing conversation to cease while she refilled our glasses.
When she left, Kayla leaned closer once more, her voice nothing more than a low whisper. “So listen. As excited as I am to see you, Randall—” She glanced over and patted Noah’s hand. “—and you too, of course, I have an idea that I wanted to share. I think I’m going to hire a private investigator.”
“Why? Is Dustin cheating?”
Kayla flinched. “Goodness, Randall. No. Why would you say that?”
Another flash of guilt sliced through me at the look on her face. “Oh, sorry. I guess that’s where my mind goes when someone says they’re going to hire a detective. Cheating spouses.”
“No. And don’t put that out into the universe. Like we need more drama.” She gave Noah a long-suffering gaze, like it was a miracle he put up with me. She had no idea how right she was. “I meant to find out who is writing these blogs, of course. Where it’s all coming from.”
“Well, we know where it’s coming from. Or at least where it started.”
