“Holy crap. No wonder you bragged about this place.” Noah held up his pastry and took a bite, not bothering to chew before speaking again. “This chicken fool tool thing is amazing. Even better than the potato one.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t hold back a small laugh. “You know that’s not what it’s called. It’s anormandie feuilleté.And you should try the champignons, as well.”
He gave me a look.
“Mushrooms.”
Noah took another bite. “I’m not going to try to say any of those words, however; any time I ask for a fool tool, you’ll know what I mean. And I’m going to be asking for these a lot. I think I like them better than cupcakes.”
The place truly was working its magic. The mixture of the hum of the crowd, the mash of people out the window, and my favorite breakfast suddenly made life a little less terrifying. A bit more doable.
Looking away from a throng of Asian tourists who were staring at us eating, I watched Noah chowing down. No wonder they were staring. It shouldn’t even be possible. Who looked good in a wig and fake glasses? The black wig appeared like a leftover from the late nineties, and those glasses. But he did. He looked beautiful. That bearded jaw, bright brown eyes.
He jerked slightly when he caught me staring. “What?”
I almost passed it off, but he’d been ignored enough the past several days. I knew a compliment wasn’t going to repair everything, but it wasn’t a bad place to start either. “I was being amazed at how handsome you are. Even in that ridiculous getup.”
Noah grinned, lifted his hand, and wobbled his glasses at me. “I almost got the one with the nose attached. But you know what they say about guys with big noses. Didn’t want to make promises I can’t keep.”
I snorted. “I’d say you’re large enough to pull off a big fake nose without feeling like you’re doing false advertising.”
“Oh, really? Well, maybe I’ll try to find a fake nose at one of the stores today and get you in the mood.”
Though I smiled, I turned away, looking back out the window. I wasn’t entirely sure why I’d been avoiding sex. I did that during the first round of drama with him too. I’d never had that reaction before. Hell, some of the times I had the most sex was when I was hurting. Most people turned to ice cream; I rode anything with a dick. But with Noah, it felt too personal. Too intimate. Maybe even too contagious. That he’d catch whatever was wrong with me.
“So where next?”
“Huh?” I turned back to him, trying to shove the stress about sex from my mind.
“Where are we going next? This is your favorite place in the city. What’s next?”
I shrugged.
“Come on, Randall. Help me out. I did all this planning. Your turn.”
Though I was feeling better, a bit, it took everything in me to not suggest returning to the hotel room and crawling back into bed. Back to the warm darkness under the covers.
Dark.
Safe perfection.
“How about the Aquarium on Pier 59?”
He hesitated. “I thought you’d say the fish market or something. Watch them throw the fish for a while.”
“Maybe this afternoon. But right now the aquarium sounds nice. It’s kinda dark, not as many people. Maybe ease into this a bit more. That okay?”
He leaned forward and kissed my cheek, both his beard and his wig tickling my skin. “Hey, you bet. All I asked is that you get out of bed and out of the house. If seeing a bunch of pretty fish will make you feel safe, my love, a bunch of fish you will get.”
My love.
I was pretty sure he still meant it. What the hell was wrong with him?
Whatever his damage, it helped make me feel safe too.
THOUGH THElate August day was bright and beautiful enough to make it illegal to spend any amount of time inside in the dark, the aquarium was the perfect idea. I think I would have felt safe even without the disguise. The light was dim, and the few people who were there that early in the morning had no interest in the other visitors. Noah and I walked the space slowly, taking our time at each tank. There was some genuine admiring of fish beauty, but more than anything, it was an excuse to bask in the warmth of each other, holding hands, and not feeling the need to say one thing about what shoe might drop next.
Life was simply what it was in that little capsule of time. And whatever it was, it was healing. At least a little bit. We spent a good half hour at the otter enclosure. It seemed to be mating season or something. I’d never seen otters have sex, and I couldn’t say I ever wanted to again. It was both awkward and a bit horrific, as there was biting involved. Though unpleasant, Noah and I both reverted back to prepubescent boys who laughed about things such as farting, boogers, and animals fucking. By the time we left the aquarium, we were struggling to catch our breaths and stop our flow of tears.
