I just stared at Noah. Maybe glared.
He scooted my camera equipment out of the way and sat down beside me on the couch. “I’m serious. For… defamation of character or whatever. That was nothing but speculation. And slander.”
If I weren’t so numb, I probably would have been touched at how angry Noah was, or at least found it endearing. At the moment, it was just exhausting. Everything was exhausting. “The thing was anonymous. There’s not even anyone to sue. It’s just a blog post that has gone viral. Or headed that way, in any case.”
“Well, it shouldn’t be that hard to trace back to the original source. All that stuff is encrypted or something.”
“Noah. What good would it do? It’s already out there, everywhere. Suing would just give it more attention.” Huh, listen to that. I almost sounded calm. Not like I had another breakdown at the photo shoot. The photo shoot that never happened with the clients who never called back.
Not that I could even blame them. Not if they’d seen the posting.
And, who hadn’t?
The thing was all over Facebook.
Even trending on Twitter as #bigbadwolf.
Nothing stayed local anymore.
Pictures of me were popping up from a boating trip to Lake Powell I’d taken a few years back with eight of my gay friends. All of us in Speedos. All of us pretty and tanned and looking slutty as hell. One of the pictures was with my friend Jack, who was a couple of years younger than me, but even more baby-faced. With all the speculation and people wanting to see what they hoped to see, or what was suggested they see, Jack looked all of sixteen years old, if a day.
Maybe most of my hypersensitivity to people recognizing me the past day or two was misplaced. It wouldn’t be anymore.
My agent wanted me to get my name out there. Well, job well done. Somehow despite there being no such thing as bad publicity, this was the exception.
“I think you should call what’s-his-face.” Noah rotated his hand in the air, thinking. “Stewart. I know you said you blocked his number, but I bet you could get it again. Can’t you just go into blocked numbers on your phone under settings or something? There’s got to be a way to fix this.”
Harper let out a huff from where she was sleeping on my lap. I agreed with the sentiment. “This isn’t him. I know he’s crazier than I thought he was, but this isn’t from him. It can’t be. I don’t see him doing this. I can’t see anyone who knows me doing this. It’s too cruel. Too gross.” Of course, I couldn’t see the Jensens, who’d known me for years, believing it enough to cancel a session with me, let alone not even bother to leave a message. “The good thing is I’ve never been alone with a child client. Ever. The parents are always right there. So at least there’s no room for actual accusations.”
“That is good.” Noah looked like he was about to launch into another idea to save the day, but I was rescued by the doorbell, causing Harper to jerk to alertness and the other two dogs to start barking. “Oh good. The Indian food is here. Be right back.”
I watched Noah run to get his wallet out of the bedroom and head to the front door. As I did, my blood ran cold. A memory of sending Reggie’s mom to the car to get a lens and leaving me alone with him rushed through my mind.
Shit.
Then several more crowded through. Moments where a kid’s parent took a call and left the photo shoot for a few minutes, or did this or that, leaving me alone with their child. So innocent, and so brief, that it never crossed my mind. Granted we were always out it the open, in nature. But we were typically secluded in the trees or on an empty stretch of beach.
Holy shit.
What if that was next? An actual parent, with a name, with a photo of their kid I’d taken, who made an accusation. Not simply speculation by some anonymous asshole, but someone with a face?
This was bad enough. I doubted I’d ever be able to come back from it, but if there was more, I was done. No doubt.
I was so caught up in my fear I didn’t notice Noah carrying the bag of delivery to the table. “Randall, what’s wrong? You look terrified.”
I turned to him. Again flashes of children’s faces I’d been alone with flitted through my mind.
No. I couldn’t let myself go there. I couldn’t think about it. It was too much. Too horrid.
I couldn’t even mention it to Noah.
My telephone chimed from across the room. I looked back up at Noah, my heart leaping in hope, though why I couldn’t say. “Kayla. I gotta get that.”
“Of course.” Noah was closer to it, and he snatched up the phone and tossed it to me.
I caught it and stood, heading to the bedroom as I answered. “Hey. You called.”
“Of course I called. No way was I not going to check on you with all of this.”
