Marlon clapped along but cast a wide-eyed glance at Vahin.
ManDonna lowered her arms and gestured toward the now quiet televisions around the bar. “You can tip me later for rescuing you from that… drivel. Baseball’s better without the sounds. You can focus on the bouncing asses and really determine how much of the bulge is their cup and how much is their own… bat. Speaking of….” She flicked her hair over her shoulder and raised her voice even higher… “Oh, booooys!”
The crowd went into hysterics of hollers, whistles, and catcalls as six men—three running in from the back patio, and three from Mary’s parlor—jogged up to take their places on either side of the stage. Each muscled, oiled, and wearing only a striped pair of baseball pants cut off so high they might as well have been bikini bottoms. And each was stuffed with an exaggerated jock cup.
No sooner had the men hit their marks than a techno version of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” pounded through the speakers. Vahin couldn’t suppress a grin. He hadn’t seen this particular performance before. Only ManDonna could figure out a way to gay-up that song. As it played, she glided off the stage, lip-synching in time with words in a ridiculously exaggerated manner.
As was her normal, by the time the song was over, each of her gyrating models had been groped and had their chest hair pulled, nipples tweaked, and jocks squeezed. Though it was hard to look away, Vahin kept checking on Marlon. He seemed mostly terrified but had a slight grin on his face that seemed to grow every time Vahin checked. And to Vahin’s surprise, ManDonna hadn’t turned her attention to Marlon once during the song and even returned to the stage without so much as blowing him a kiss. Maybe it was going to be all right after all.
ManDonna made a show of fanning herself and smoothing out her gown. “Let me tell y’all, I’ve had to take one for the team to get these guys to agree to this.” She paused, lifting a finger to her lips as if in thought. “Did I say take one for the team? I meant I had to take onefromthe team. All of them, honey. At once.” She closed her eyes and snarled her glossy red lips in false orgasm. “The things, themany,many things,I had to do to get them to agree to entertain you.” She opened her eyes and leveled her gaze back on the diners. “Well, you’re welcome.”
The six-member baseball team pumped their hips.
More hoots, hollers, and cheers. As the noise died down, ManDonna glanced at Marlon for a split second, and Vahin felt sweat instantly break out over his body. “Now, I know there are a lot of youstraightboys in the audience, here with your wives and girlfriends—” She began to cough, covering her mouth. “—beards.” She coughed again, cleared her throat, and wiped her middle finger across her bottom lip and continued like nothing had happened. “And I don’t want you to think I’ve forgotten about you. I know you don’t want to see rugged, Colorado men dancing around with their junk flopping about willy-nilly, so I have something for you too. The fishiest fish of them all—Ariel Merman!”
Relief coursed through Vahin as Ariel swept into the room. She was a new drag queen and much tamer than her drag mother, ManDonna. Marlon should be able to survive whatever she dished out.
He did a double take as Ariel joined ManDonna and the ball players in front of their table. It had been several weeks since Vahin had seen Ariel Merman in action, and her skills had increased by a ridiculous level.
She was clad in a barely there Rockies cheerleader outfit, and she might as well have just stepped out of aPlayboycenterfold. Long wavy blonde hair cascaded down her back, hitting where her narrow waist jutted into curving hips. She ran her delicate hands up her flat stomach and cupped her cleavage for a brief moment—Vahin would swear they were real—and then waved at the crowd, bouncing up and down like a real cheerleader.
Vahin was so blown away, he forgot all about Marlon’s precarious situation. Gone was the timid, boyish Zachary Cooper who could barely get two words out without blushing. In his place was one of the most beautiful women Vahin had ever seen. Her face and makeup were flawless, bringing to mind a young Christie Brinkley.
He felt a touch on his arm. Marlon had leaned closer. “She doesn’t look like a fi—”
ManDonna let out a screech, causing Marlon to jump a bit in his seat, his knee hitting the table. She pointed at Vahin, a wicked expression curving her lips. “Vahin, dahling, didn’t you explain to your new boy toy that one doesn’t interrupt a ManDonna show? At least not without punishment.” She lifted her hand and wiggled her finger toward Marlon in a come-hither manner.
Marlon looked over at Vahin, genuine terror in his eyes.
“Nope!” ManDonna shook her finger at him. “Don’t even try, honey. That hunk of Indian meat can’t help you now.” She gestured to Ariel. “Bring him up, daughter.”
With an expression of sex and confidence Vahin had never seen her wear, Ariel took the step to their table and grabbed Marlon’s hand.
He didn’t budge.
She pulled again.
Vahin held his breath. In that moment, a billion thoughts rushed through his mind. He should stop it. Marlon could easily freak out and hurt Zachary or run away. He should cause a distraction, rip off his own shirt and throw himself on the stage. Offer up free shots for everyone. Maybe….
To his shock, Marlon stood and allowed himself to be led up to the stage, looking every bit like an abused puppy. Amid cheers, he took his place near the center, ManDonna on one side, Ariel on the other.
ManDonna ran a finger over Marlon’s chest, causing him to flinch. “Now, what’s your name, rude man?”
Marlon muttered something that Vahin couldn’t hear, even as close as he was.
“Now, don’t be shy. You were all ready to talk in the middle of my performance a few seconds ago.” ManDonna reached back, lifted a microphone off the stand, and raised it to Marlon’s lips. “Here. Don’t say I didn’t have mercy. Now, what’s your name, you chocolate stud muffin.”
A long hesitation, then finally, “Marlon.”
Vahin couldn’t believe he’d actually used his real name. Maybe it hadn’t occurred to him to lie.
“Marlon, huh?” She ran her finger over his chest again, then paused before moving down his stomach to circle one of his shirt buttons with her fingernail—she’d know how far she could push. “I have to tell you, Marlon, you remind me of my husband, back in the day. Dark and manly, though—” She cupped his chest for the briefest of moments. “—Hershel wasn’t ever quite as built as you are.” She glanced out at the audience. “And if any of you bitches tell him I was up here lusting after another man, I’ll take you out with the rest of the trash, honey.”
“He’d want to watch!”
“He neverjustwatches.” ManDonna gave a wink toward the voice in the back, then refocused on Marlon. “Now, let’s pretend we’re back in school, Mr. Sexpot Marlon. Tell the rest of the class what was so important that you had to ruin Ariel Merman’s entrance.”
Marlon moved his mouth wordlessly, obviously trying to think of something other than the truth. Then he gave a little shrug. “I was, um, going to say that she, that Ariel, doesn’t look like a fish.” He offered an apologetic glance at Ariel.
