Why couldn’t he see my side? Couldn’t he see what tonight had looked like to me? I had gotten dressed up and made an effort to do something nice for him and instead I had found him cozying up to Giselle. And the smug way she had smiled at me. She was happy I had found them together.
“She deserved what she got. I wish I had dumped more wine on her.”
He looked beyond frustrated. “Stop acting like a brat.”
“I’m not! You don’t understand.”
“I understand you caused a scene at one of my business dinners.”
“I know what it looked like, but do you?” I yelled in his face. “Do you know what all of this looks like to me? All the time?”
“What the hell does that mean?”
Suddenly, overwhelmingly, I felt myself close to tears. I couldn’t look into his face without starting to cry, so I stubbornly looked over his shoulder. “You’re gone all the time.”
He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him.
And in that moment, I had no sense of self preservation left. It had been ripped away with the shooting, with Bandit and with everything else.
“Why won’t you sleep with me?” I implored, watching his face closely, looking for evidence that he hated me or didn’t want me as much as I wanted him.
Instead, I watched all the anger drain out of him. What was left was resounding defeat. He looked tired, and wiser than his years.
“It’s not you, Mila.”
My eyes filled with tears. “You’re in love with her.”
He pushed me back and held me against the wall. “No.”
“What is it, then?” I yelled all my feelings of rejection and loneliness at him. “Why can you take her out for dinner but not me? She’s so beautiful. And if you don’t find me attractive, why just not tell me?”
“Mila,” he started, and then stopped. “This isn’t about how much I want you.”
“Then what is it?” I cried, frustrated and hurt.
“It’s bigger than us.” He stepped back from me, as if to create some distance between us. “I can’t tell you the details of why. It’s not because I don’t want to. It’s because I’m protecting you.”
“I don’t understand,” I whispered. “Can you please explain to me what that means?”
Beneath us the front door opened and then shut. Then Oleg called up the stairs. “Boss?”
“Not now, Oleg.” Axel’s voice was harsh and commanding.
Oleg cleared his throat. “There’s someone named Viktor in the driveway. He said you’d want to talk.”
Axel froze at that, and then immediately recovered.
“Ask him to wait there. I’ll be outside in a moment.”
We heard the front door open and then close again.
He turned to me. “Mila.”
I sadly shook my head. “It’s okay. I understand.”
“What do you understand?” His voice was dangerously low.
I gave him a sad smile. “I understand you have to go.”
