I paused awkwardly. My friends had been nothing but supportive of my choices, and they’d encouraged me to move forward, but I was stuck.
“I haven’t signed it yet.”
He gave me an understanding little smile. “You take your time.”
I nodded with what I hoped was a reassuring smile. How could I tell him that all I had was time? That time had stopped moving the day Axel left, and everything after that was just me moving through the hours without him? I didn’t know how to erase my husband. I didn’t know how to pretend that the most important person in my world hadn’t existed.
Instead of dumping all of that on poor Jordan, I changed the subject. “Tell me how the latest restaurant plans are going. Who is this new investor that you have?”
November
Five months later
I stood in line at the Canada Post counter that was tucked in the back of the drugstore, sweating inside the thick raincoat that hadn’t been warm enough five minutes ago, when I was outside. I unzipped my jacket in an attempt to cool off.
“I can help who’s next.”
I stepped forward and placed my bag on the counter. “I need to send a letter, registered mail, to Russia.”
“Sure. Can I weigh it?”
I slid the heavy manila envelope across the counter, the same envelope that Viktor had given me to mail the annulment.
Without ceremony, the clerk weighed it and then measured it with a small tape. She typed things into her computer before looking up at me. “Do you want insurance?”
I stared at the formal envelope. Inside was the only piece of Axel I had left.
His signature.
I didn’t want to erase our marriage.
I didn’t want to dissolve him.
I missed him.
I reached across the counter and grabbed the envelope. “I made a mistake.”
She looked confused. “Are you sure? You don’t need insurance, but we do recommend it.”
“I’m sure.” I stuffed my small piece of Axel back in my bag, all the while fighting my tears.
December
One month later
I opened the back door of my apartment, which led directly into my kitchen, and I knew immediately something was wrong.
Bandit wasn’t lying on his bed in the kitchen.
Nor was he at the door, eager to greet me.
“Bandit?” I yelled, wondering if he was sick. I dumped my grocery bags on the counter and immediately moved to the living room to see if he was on the couch.
There, standing in my living room, was Axel.
I blinked, taking all of him in.
His hair was longer, and he looked tanned. And somehow he looked bigger than I remembered.
