He threw up once more, and then stood there panting.
“What’s going on?” Axel walked in, his voice rough with sleep.
“I don’t know, he just threw up.” I looked over my shoulder and froze. Axel wore only a pair of green joggers that hung low on his hips.
Between his corded abs and messy hair, I didn’t know where to look, so I stood up and opened the patio door. Bandit sniffed and then wandered outside.
Behind me, Axel gathered some cleaning supplies.
Even his feet were bare. He bunched up a wad of paper towel and knelt down on the floor to clean up.
“I can do that.” I moved toward him nervously.
“I got it.”
I admired the width of his back muscles as he efficiently wiped up the floor.
“Do you think he needs a vet?”
He walked back to the kitchen and washed up at the sink. “If he starts throwing up repeatedly, we should take him to the vet, otherwise he’s fine.”
I watched my husband as he wiped his hands on a towel. “How do you know this?”
He shrugged. “We had a lot of dogs growing up.”
This was the first time my husband had ever mentioned his childhood or his past. Why was he such a mystery? I didn’t know anything about him, except that he was constantly working to protect me, take care of me and avoid me.
He delivered Bandit and me back to my bedroom and ended the night with a quiet, “Wake me if he gets sick again.”
I tried to think of something to say that might make him stay longer, but nothing came to mind. “Okay.”
He shut the door of my bedroom.
I sat on my bed and stared at the door, already feeling the loss of his presence.
Lately, something had been shifting inside me when it came to Axel. He never let me down, and he was always so protective. But it was more than that.
Tonight when he came downstairs with messy hair and no shirt, I couldn’t seem to take my eyes off him. I thought about how the corded muscles of his abdomen disappeared into his joggers. And how his shoulders flexed when he cleaned the floor. His skin looked so soft and warm. Before tonight, I had thought a lot about how he had touched me, but now I was having thoughts about touching him. But this was more than sex. It was how he made me feel.
Bandit jumped on the bed before sprawling out behind me. I turned off the lights and snuggled under the covers.
What did I want with my husband?
What did I want from someone who protected me but always kept his distance?
My eyes opened, and I stared into the dark as I contemplated the truth of my answer, knowing I was in trouble because I wanted something from my husband that he didn’t want to do.
I wanted Axel to stay.
During study hour,Tanya, Selena and I feasted on homemade bacon and cheese pierogi that Tanya’s mom had sent to school for us.
I took a bite. “So how do you make a man want to spend time with you?”
Selena swallowed before speaking. “Who are we talking about?”
“Axel doesn’t want to spend any time with me.”
“He doesn’t want to hang out, or he doesn’t want anything spicy?”
