My lips trembled as I laid across my bed, trying not to give in to the tears that wanted to fall. Maybe that was for the best anyway. Nash probably wanted nothing to do with a flawed woman like me. He was too good of a man. To me, he was perfect. It was like he had fallen from the sky and right into my line of vision. Since then, he had been treating me right.
“It felt like déjà vu all over again, seeing him with her. They were all smiles as they shopped for the baby. What made it so bad was that she wasn’t with Jonathan.” I tried to explain to her what I saw.
Farrah huffed. “So? What’s your point? Your problem is that you don’t ask questions. That was something you should’ve done. You’ve got to let go of what Jonathan did to you and move on. If you don’t, you’ll forever be stuck. You wouldn’t want that, huh?”
I shook my head as if she could see me. “It’s hard. I’m trying to move on from heartbreak and grief. When I’m with Nash, I forget everything that hurt me. Now, I just don’t know.”
“Girl, you know. You’re just in your head right now. You’d better stop playing with that man and go get him.”
I smiled sadly as if she could see me. I didn’t know what I’d do without Farrah. She had always had my back and gave it to me straight. That was why I could always depend on her for any and everything. I never had to worry about her switching up on me.
“You’re right, Farrah. I’m going to get it together. Tonight, before I go to bed, I’m going to have an honest conversation with God. I need it because sometimes it feels like I’m losing myself. I don’t want that to happen to me.”
“It won’t,” she snapped. “You just have to stop pushing that man away. That’s your only problem. Once you stop that, you’ll be good. I need to go, since my man is calling me.”
I smirked with a shake of my head. Farrah had told me last week about the man she was currently talking to. She was smitten with him, so I hoped he didn’t hurt her. My friend needed an everlasting love, and I hoped she found it with the man she was with now.
“Okay, girl. I’m going to let you go. Thanks so much, Farrah. I love you, sis.”
“I love you too, Ken. Just know that every man isn’t like that no good Jonathan. Talk to you later.”
Once I ended the call, I knew I needed to find a way to make it up to Nash for the way I had acted toward him. It was time I let go of the past and started thinking about my future. That was the only way I’d move on completely.
After talkingto Farrah two days ago, I knew I owed Nash a huge apology. What I did was childish, and I didn’t think about his feelings. That person wasn’t me at all. I always tried to be the bigger person in any situation, but lately, the way I’d been going about things wasn’t right.
I stared at myself in the mirror and grimaced. The bags under my eyes weren’t cute at all. Not to mention, my brown skin looked a little pale. I had to get myself together and fast.
I had no idea how I’d be making it up to Nashton, but I had to find a way. He enjoyed steak, so I’d be getting him that. Plus, I had to think of something else.
After I was done getting ready, I headed out of my house. It looked like it was going to rain, and we didn’t need that. It wasalready cold. Well, it was to me. The fall weather came through in full force, and it seemed like we’d have another cold winter.
My cell phone rang in my purse, so I quickly rushed to pull it out. I eyed the number but was disappointed when I saw it wasn’t Nash.
“Good morning, Farrah. What the hell do you want?”
She burst out laughing. “It’s been two days since you saw Nash. Why the hell haven’t you made a move yet?
I unlocked my car door and slid in, closing it behind me. “I’m about to make my move now. What should I get him?”
“Does he eat candy? You can buy him a gift basket or make one. Also, buy him a meal. What’s something he likes to eat? What’s his favorite cologne or things that he enjoys doing? Think about all those, and you got it.”
“Okay, I know all of that, so I’m going in for the kill. Thanks, sis.”
“Always! Love you!”
“I love you more!”
After we hung up the phone, I got on with my day. I had a lot of stops to make before I headed to the gym. Hopefully, Nash would be there too. Since I didn’t have any patients today, I took the day off. After what happened that day that I got suspended, I tried not to go to work if I wasn’t needed. My boss, Rebecca, hadn’t said much to me since what happened either. If she did, I’d be going off on her.
When I wasn’t at work, Kaye checked up on me to make sure I was good. I needed to set up a girls’ day with her.
It took nearly two hours to get everything I needed. I hadn’t checked to see if Nash was still at the gym. Hopefully, he was. When I pulled into the parking lot, I nearly sighed in relief when I saw his car. With the gift basket and food, I ambled to the gym with confidence. It was a good thing that someone came out of the door to hold it open for me.
“Thanks,” I said with a smile.
Inside the building, I peered around, not laying eyes on him. He was probably in his office. With long strides, I headed to his office and knocked on the door. My heart was in my ass as my confidence slipped.
“Come in,” Nash’s deep voice called out.
