JACK
“I—maybe I’m not the best at meeting people in situations like this,” I admit. There’s a look in Bunny’s eyes I don’t like, because I’ve never seen it before. “It just takes a while for me to open up.”
He hums in thought. “That’s what Sarah said, too.”
I feel like I just swallowed gravel. “What?” I scowl. “Oh, for the love of God, please tell me my sister didn’t overhear that whole thing about me being fuckingshyat the book signing.”
Bunny looks puzzled. “Well, yeah. I said she was talking to Gina, remember?”
“Jesus. Fucking. Christ.” I grit the words out, grateful it’s so dim in here because my face is on fucking fire. I’m livid. And embarrassed. I don’t like the way either of those are making me feel right now.
“It wasn’t a big deal or anything. Really.” Bunny puts a warm hand on my arm. “I promise.”
“Fuck,” I mutter. God-fucking-dammit. I’m painfully conscious of the fact that we’re in the furthest thing from a private setting. “What did she say?” I hiss, struggling to keep my voice low as I aim a withering glare in his direction.
Bunny sounds tense. “I don’t know why you’re hung up on this. Olivia said she wished she could’ve gotten to know you a bit better because you were sitting by yourself for a while. She said you didn’t seem unfriendly, and I said you weren’t, you were just kind of shy. She and Gina were like, oh, that’s OK, I get it. And Sarah sort of shrugged and said something like, yeah, that’s just Jack. It takes him a while to open up.”
I blow out a deep breath without answering Bunny. There are a lot of thoughts in my mind right now, none of which I want to be thinking. Not in general, and especially not in the red glow of a dungeon with my nearly naked husband at my feet and the sounds of someone getting flogged in the background.
I look down at him. His posture is tense and tucked-in, with one arm hugging his midsection and the other tucked against his body as he gnaws on his thumbnail. With a sigh of exasperation, I tug his hand away from his mouth. His shoulders stiffen.
“How did you do it —interact with people, I mean —when you came here before?” he asks suddenly.
“Well, I’d go on one of the apps.I wasn’t living here then, so I’d just come out for a weekend. We’d arrange to meet up and cover hard limits and shit like that over chat. There wasn’t a lot of small talk when we got here, if you know what I mean.”
“Mm-hmm.” Bunny’s expression is contemplative, but I can’t tell what he’s thinking. I don’t like it.
“What?” I ask, maybe more testily than I mean to sound. “Look, it’s —I’m not like you. People just —peoplelikeyou. You knowI’m not a people person,” I remind him for what feels like the zillionth time. “I don’t like people.”
“You don’t like Olivia?” he asks.
“What…” I trail off with a frown. It’s not like Bunny to set me up, but this feels like a trick question. “I just met her. She’s your client. It doesn’t matter what I think.”
“She’s notjusta client. We’ve gotten to be friends.”
“Well,Idon’t know her.”
“But you do like people once you get to know them,” he presses.
“I do not,” I retort. “But it’s fine. People don’t like me, either.”
A frown flickers over Bunny’s face, but he doesn’t look angry. He almost looks sad, which I don’t get. It’s a long minute before he says anything. “People would like you, too, if you’d just give them a chance to get to know you.”
I bark out a laugh. “Sure,” I scoff, piling as much sarcasm as I can muster onto the single syllable.
I don’t know how I’m expecting Bunny to respond, but I’m taken by surprise when he rises to his knees. Throwing his arms around me, he squeezes me tight. “I love you, Jack. I think you’re terrific.” His face is buried in my chest.
Over the music and background noise, I can barely hear him, but the rest of his words hit as hard as if he shouted them. “I know other people would, too, if you gave them a chance. If you didn’t push them away, I think you’d be surprised how many people do want to get to know you.”
“Pfft.” I blow out a sound of dismissal, but something deep in my chest suddenly aches. How he looks at me and sees a good guy, I’ll never know. I pull back from his impromptu embrace, my mind in a jumble.
My ping-ponging thoughts land on this Las Vegas trip. I was a little upset and surprised that Bunny honestly thought I wouldn’t come with him if he asked. Although I’mnotlooking forward to another one of those book events, the idea of telling himnois even harder to fathom. He holds my entire heart in his delicate hands. As the months go by, I feel more and more like that embrace is warming me from the inside out.
Doesn’t he realize this? Maybe I need to do a better job of making sure that he knows he’s got me wrapped around hisdamn little finger. That I’d follow him into hell if he asked. That I’d burn the world for him.
Bunny is staring up at me. “There you go with that dumb-bunny optimism again,” I say, but I can hear a hoarseness in my voice that belies my dismissive words. Leaning in towards him, I cup my hand around his face, running a thumb over his cheekbone. “Don’t ever lose that, OK?”
I draw in a deep breath. “I’m never going to be as good a man as you seem to think I am, Bunny. But even if I’m just a bossy asshole, I promise you that I’ll always be the best husband to you that I can be.”
