I wrap my hand around Errol’s throat as he gasps out, “Long enough.” I squeeze tight enough to feel his pulse fluttering against my fingertips. Purging the poison of my feelings, the volume of my voice climbs until I’m yelling at him.
“I know how little you think of me now, how you probably always despised me —I should’ve never given you the time of day! You embarrassed me. Youhurtme.”
Do I feel a little dumb saying all this? Yeah. Does it feel good to say these uncomfortable thoughts, to exhume and drag into the light of day my buried suspicions and fears? Also yeah.
The heat burning in my heart is sharp, throwing off sparks, threatening to explode and blow me apart. When I look down again, it’s not even Errol I see as he squirms on the floor beneath me. In my mind’s eye, I see Eliza.
I lean over to the night table and grab the lube. I’m breathing hard, and my pulse is beating in my ears like I’ve just run a sprintas I pop the lid open. I rub lube all over my dick before turning my attention back to Errol. I hike his hips up. Even though I know he lubed himself up earlier, I trace slick fingers over his rim anyway.
He shivers, his inhale a hiss of anticipation. My heart pounding and my cock dripping, I ease a finger into him like I saw him do earlier. Errol lets out a soft moan, rocking his hips back like he’s hungry for more.
I huff out a laugh as I pull my finger out. Giving his ass a sharp slap, I slide my cock between his cheeks until my head notches at his opening. “Fucking slut,” I mutter. “Am I going to be able to just shove my hard cock into this greedy cunt all at once? You want that?” When Errol nods, I prod him. “Say it.”
“Fill me up all at once. Fuck me hard. I need it —my cunt needs it rough,” he pants. I’m too afraid of hurting him to actually enter him roughly, but something aboutthatword in his mouth makes my cock even harder.
“Oh, fuck,” I groan as my crown breaches his entrance. “I’m gonna stuff you so full of my dick you’re not going to be able to swallow without feeling like you’ve got my cockhead in the back of your throat. The way I take you is going to make the way he had you bent over that desk look like a fucking junior prom date.”
Errol lets out a low moan, rocking his hips back to meet my thrusts. My words are ringing in my ears over the sounds of our heavy breathing and flesh slapping against flesh. I grab his hips to hold him still so I can control the rhythm and start fucking him faster.
“Holy shit, that’s a tight pussy,” I pant. Errol lets out a low whine in response. “Not for long, though. I’m going to wreck you. Gonna fuck you so hard you can’t even walk out of here, because I want to see you crawling like the animal you are,” I snarl. Errol’s inhale is a sharp hiss, and his hips buck.
“Enough of that,” I snap. I throw my full weight onto him, forcing him down on his belly as I chase my release. “I’m in control here, slut. You wanted to get pounded by a big dick? You’re gonna get it so good you’re gonna be sorry you ever begged for it.”
For all my talk, I’m astonished —and a little embarrassed —at how soon I feel that low, tingling heat building between my legs. “Oh God, fuck —” I thread my hand through Errol’s hair and yank his head back. “Get on your knees, doll —I’m gonna paint your face with such a huge load of come, you’re never going to get the scent of me off of you.”
Errol shudders.Oh. I laugh a little to cover the strange fluttering of nerves in my chest. “You like that?”
“Please, please —” His face is blotchy, his breath coming in rapid little jerks. “Put me on my knees,” he whispers. “I need it.”
A goddamn earthquake couldn’t stop my orgasm at this point, but as I pull out of Errol and aim my explosion at his face, there’s a half-formed thought in the back of my head that something seismic is definitely happening.
Thick white streaks stripe his cheeks, splattering across his nose and mouth. He keeps lips parted and his eyes glued on me. When I finally stop coming, he licks his lips with an expression like the cat who just got the canary. His eyes flutter shut for a second as he swallows, a hungry sound vibrating in his throat.
My legs are still shaking, but after I stand, I steady myself enough to reach down and offer Errol a hand. He takes it. I feel his gaze on me, but I can’t look at him as I sit on the bed in a daze. I hear running water in the bathroom. After it stops and the old-fashioned doorknob creaks, I stand on jellied legs.
When I pass him in the hallway, Errol catches my elbow. His face looks freshly-scrubbed. I search his eyes for any hints of what he might be feeling —shit, I could use some help figuring out whatI’msupposed to be feeling.
He leans in and plants a tiny kiss at the corner of my mouth. Yeah, he’s definitely got a solid inch on me. Maybe two.
“Would you sleep in my room tonight?” he asks. “I — that was pretty intense. Not in a bad way! But I’d kind of like to be close right now. Nothing horny — just sort of unwind and cuddle before we fall asleep.”
I undress and take the far side of the bed, barely getting the covers pulled down before my naked body collapses into them. I realize I’m damp with sweat and smell like sex. For a minute, I feel guilty about how good it feels under the crisp, clean sheets.
Errol flips off the bedside light and scoots his body next to mine, laying a palm on my chest as he curls his body up against my side. When I drape my arm around him, the movement feels habituated, as if I’ve fallen asleep countless nights exactly like this. It’sa strange sense, likedeja vu, both bizarre and bizarrely comforting.
Inside my brain feels like the day after a storm, when you step outside into glittering sunlight to a tangle of downed phone lines and tree branches and blown-off roof shingles. I’m mortified to feel my eyes filling and my voice growing thick and choppy with tears. “But why?” I’m speaking softly but my voice still sounds overly loud in the quiet room. “I still don’t get it. I asked her what the fuck and she never told me why.Why?”
Errol slips his arm all the way around me as he presses his lips to my bare shoulder. “Because you deserve somebody who treats you better,” he murmurs. His lips brush my skin again as he speaks, sending a shiver through me. “So,somuch better than she ever could have been to you. You deserve tobe respected, spoiled… obeyed.” The last two syllables are more breath than word.
I shut my eyes and turn my head away from him, letting my tears spill over my cheeks. I think Errol knows I’m crying but he doesn’t force me to admit it. He gives me the privacy of darkness as feelings I can’t put into words pour out of me until sleep finally takes over.
19
AARYN
Iwake up with a headache, even though I didn’t have anything to drink last night. Can fucking too hard give you a hangover? My eyes and my mouth are dry, the sunlight pouring in through the window feels too bright and the drone of landscaping equipment sounds aggressively loud.
I roll over and see Errol reading, white hair tufted in all directions. “Hey,” I croak out, embarrassed at how rough my voice sounds.
