My arms seem to operate of their own free will, reaching out to encircle his waist. “No, you’re good. Why would you think that?”
Errol drops his eyes. “Um, because I weigh a lot and I’m sitting on your lap.”
I frown. “Come on. I know I’m kind of skinny, but you’re not going to fuckingbreakme. Keep your ass right where it is.” Errol’s eyes go wide. Huh. Guess he wasn’t yanking my chain when he said he likes guys getting bossy with him.
My gaze is drawn to his mouth as he pulls his lower lip between his teeth. I have a sudden, inexplicable wish that it was my teeth there instead, that I was the one trapping Errol’s full lip so I could run my tongue over it.
What the hell is happening? Also, how did I manage to never notice how attractive Errol’s lips are before?
His hands are still on either side of my head, arms caging me in. His lips part and his pupils dilate while I hold him there. My brain doesn’t tell my body to get closer, but the next thing I know, our faces are only a breath apart.
I can’t make my eyes look anywhere except Errol’s mouth. He makes a little noise in his throat. When his tongue darts out to trace the inside rim of his upper lip, a strange, warm effervescence fills my belly.
I lift my gaze but it doesn’t free me of this buzzy sensation that’s making my head swim. The only thing I can focus on clearly are the amber flecks that light up the luminous brown of Errol’s eyes. I feel the heat of his exhalation an instant before his warm lips press into mine.
Kissing my best friend on the mouth should feel strange. Feeling Errol’s lips against my own and opening my mouth for his exploring tongue should feel awkward and reckless. It should feel like the biggest fucking mistake in the world, reaching out toclasp his nape and threading my fingers through his hair to hold the two of us together as the heat of his lips seeps into my own.
I do it anyway.
I don’t understand why this feels like a first kiss. I’ve kissed enough women that I feel like I know what I’m doing. But kissing Errol is like doing a hard reset on my brain. It’s like I’m just exploring everything for the first time. And I don’t want to let his mouth go until I figure it out.
He opens his lips with a little whimper that echoes in my mouth. It’s justdifferentthan kissing a woman. Errol’s lips are surprisingly soft, but firmer than what I’m used to. The slight rasp of stubble around his mouth sends a jagged pulse of energy straight to my dick. There’s an urgency in the way he seeks out my tongue with his. He tastes sweet in a way I can’t articulate. I wish this kiss was something I could devour and swallow whole.
My eyes slip shut. The only sensations my brain registers are the drumming of the rain, the feeling of Errol on my lap and his lips locked onto mine. I lick inside of his mouth, hungry for more of him. When did he start to taste so good? Or did he always taste this good and I just never knew?
Fuck it. The entire world could catch fire right now and I wouldn’t give a damn, because what’s burning inside of my chest right now is brighter, hotter and hungrier than any combustion in the history of the universe, all the way back to the big fucking bang. Supernovas, my ass. They’ve got nothing on the sweetness of Errol’s lips or the low, urgent whine that vibrates in his throat when I bury my tongue in his mouth.
After a stretch that feels like a split-second and forever at the same time, we pull our lips apart. “Holy shit,” Errol gasps out, his breath coming hard. He huffs out a little laugh. “Goddamn, Ran. I’ve wanted to do that atleastsince the middle of junior year.”
“Really?” The movement of my lips is sluggish, as if my mouth has to relearn how to work now that Errol isn’t connected to me anymore.
“Yeah.” He looks deep into my eyes like he’s searching for something. “Did you like that?” he asks quietly, almost shyly. I nod, holding eye contact. Errol gives me a little smile. “We’re gonna do that again, then, right?”
“Uh-huh, for sure,” I murmur, my voice raspy from the heat racing through my veins. Errol scoots himself off my lap and I slide behind the steering wheel again.
I look at him, perplexed. “You had a crush on me since junior year?” This is mind-blowing new information.
Errol looks sheepish. “Um, probably longer. I just remember that was the first moment when I couldn’t deny the way I felt anymore. We were at your house. I said something funny and made you laugh. And I remember looking at your mouth and realizing I wanted to taste you, wanted my lips on yours.”
He sighs. “It scared the hell out of me, so I tried to dismiss it, bury it —you know. But it never went away.”
I frown as tendrils that feel uncomfortably like guilt wrap around my heart and lungs. “But it’s not like you’ve been, you know, pining for me since then or anything… right?”
Errol kind of shrugs. He stares out over the hood of the truck. “I mean, I had experiences. I had sex. That was easier than relationships. I wasn’t as good at those. But here’s the thing.”
He turns and locks his eyes onto mine. “If you’d have come back at any point and so much as snapped your fingers, I would’ve left everything behind for you.”
This doesn’t just sound like a crush.I try to push the next realization out of my brain before I can formulate the words for it, because doing so will manifest it and make it real. It slips through anyway.I think my best friend has secretly been in love with me since high school.
I don’t know what to say. As I stare out the windshield, I realize the rain has slaked off. I grab the door handle like it’s a lifeline and turn to Errol.
“Alright. Let’s move some boxes.”
11
AARYN
“Whatcha thinking about?” Errol comes into the living room, a beer in each hand.
