I mull it over. “I thought I would. I appreciate the doctors taking me seriously. But I’m still frustrated that the issue hasn’t completely gone away. I think it’s improving some with the med changes, but I guess I won’t really know until, well, you know. I’ll have to test that hypothesis in the field, so to speak.” I wiggle my eyebrows and he chuckles. “If switching my pills and adding the cream doesn’t work, it could still be a problem with my body just being outright defective.”
Jordan scoffs. “Your body is a lot of things, Shelley. Defective isn’t one of them.”
“Is that so?’ My tone turns flirty. “Do tell what all these other things are.”
He lets out an exaggerated groan and shakes his head. “Nope. You won’t be getting it out of me that easily. Wouldn’t want you to get a big head over there.”
“Oh, come on. Indulge me. You don’t know what it’s like to feel your own body betray you like this.” I throw an arm over my eyes dramatically, but Jordan reaches over and gently lifts it off again.
“I think I actually do know a little something about that. And you’re right, it sucks. But your body belongs in a goddamn art museum. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since watching you strip in front of that mirror, you little minx.”
“I can’t believe I did that.” I turn away to cover my blush, but then curiosity about something else he said gets the better of me. “What do you mean you know the feeling?” I tilt my head. “Being demi doesn’t make you broken, Jordan.”
“I’m starting to realize that,” he says, eyes shining with sincerity. Then he taps a finger against his bad elbow. “I was actually talking about this. My arm probably isn’t going to workexactly the way I’d like it to ever again. It’s throbbing a little right now just from pulling myself up into this tree. I know I should be grateful I had a chance to play ball for a living—and I am—and I’m also glad the injury wasn’t worse. But it’s still taking away something I worked hard for. It’s okay to admit when something feels really shitty.”
“Exactly!” I move a little too quickly and gasp as I almost lose my balance on the branch before I catch myself. Jordan scoots closer and reaches out to keep me from falling. When I’m confident I’m steady again, I tell him, “I hate knowing my body doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to. It makes me feel like such a failure.”
He leans forward and crooks a finger under my chin and raises my face so my eyes meet his as he tells me, “You’re not.”
If only it were as easy to believe as he makes it seem. But he should know it’s not.
“You’re not either. You know that, right?” I blink at him. Apparently, we both have our fair share of issues to sort through.
“I’m working on believing it, too,” he promises. He takes a long breath before he says, “Shelley, I want you to know I’m serious when I say you’re gorgeous, and I do want you. But relationships are complicated for me, even without all the other concerns we’re piling on top of this. So, this thing between us, whatever it is, it might not look exactly like it does for other people. We get to define it.”
“I’d like that. And I hope you don’t feel like I’m pressuring you either.”
He huffs out a laugh. “I wouldn’t have flown all the way across the country if I didn’t want to be here. Once I’m in, I’m all in.”
And with that, the butterflies are back.
“But I do need you to promise me you’ll take your time and really think this through before we do anything we can’t take back. You have more to lose here, Shelley.”
I don’t want my brother to be a factor in this. I shake my head. “Mike’s not going to—”
“I’m not only thinking about Mike. I’m thinking of you. You still have your whole career in front of you, and you need to focus on school. I don’t have any of that, and I don’t want to mess any of it up for you. I don’t want to be the distraction that throws you off the path you worked hard to create for yourself. But I’m also not strong enough to fight this anymore.”
“You’re so much more than a distraction, Jordan.” I climb over to his thicker branch, and he leans against the trunk of the tree while I cup his face in my hands.
I’m in big trouble. I have it bad for my brother’s best friend, and all he’s offered so far are a handful of stolen kisses and a few honest conversations. If Jordan gives me more, I know I won’t be able to stop myself from falling for him. Hard. And it’s more than a little bit terrifying. But when I kiss him again, nothing else seems to matter.
Chapter 21
Shelley
"Let me in, you asshats,” I whisper to my sisters through gritted teeth as I pull at the locked doorknob of our shared childhood bedroom. It doesn’t budge. This is their revenge for yesterday when Mandy thought I took too long to let her into the bathroom. My sisters conspire with each other from the other side. Their voices are so close, they’re probably sitting on the floor with their backs against the door.
“Sorry. Can’t. We’re already asleep.” My very much awake younger sister giggles.I can picture Mandy batting her eyelashes, and I can still hear her laughing.
“There’s another open bed just down the hall. In Jordan’s room,” Mads unhelpfully adds.
“I seriously hate you.” I seethe.
“No, you don’t.”
“You can thank us later.” Their sing-song voices float through the tiny gap under the wood panel.
I groan and wipe my sweaty palms on my pajama bottoms. I know it’s fruitless to argue when they’re determined to force me and Jordan together. Not wanting to wake up my parents, I have two choices. I can try to sleep in one of the recliners or rocking chairs in the living room, or I can ask Jordan if I can bunk with him. And I do mean literally bunk with him, on Mike’s old bunk bed. Every adult woman’s dream situation: sleeping in the same room with a guy for the first time in yourbrother’s childhood bedroom. Fabulous. Exactly what I need: Jordan thinking I’m already trying to push him for more than he might be ready to give, and my parents potentially overhearing every little creak of the springs from the other side of the wall their bedroom shares with Mike’s.
