Not right away.
Instead, I swallowed and said, voice barely above a whisper, “You should finish brushing your teeth.”
He huffed a quiet laugh, lowering his hand. “Yeah. Probably should.”
And then his toothbrush was falling to the counter and his lips crashed to mine with a ferocity I’d never felt from him before. In the next moment, we were all lips and tongues and hands running through hair. One of my fists found the soft cotton of his T-shirt and I held onto it for all it was worth, like I thought that if I let go even for a second, all of this would be over.
The next thing I knew, we were stumbling backwards toward the bed. I was pretty sure I stepped on his foot and his hand caught on my scrunchie, but neither of us pulled away. I was barely even breathing as I desperately pulled him closer and closer, wanting nothing more than his lips against mine for the rest of eternity.
When my legs hit the bed, we went toppling onto it. I laughed out of instinct but it was cut off as Tino’s lips found mine again.
The rational part of my brain asked me what on earth I was doing.
The rest of me just couldn’t care less.
Not until I heard the door open again.
“Well, well, what do we have here?” a voice asked.
My gasp lodged itself in my throat as I shoved Tino up. He awkwardly rolled off me, landing on his side, and we both stared in horror at my smirking brother—Luca, thank goodness, not Asa—who had somehow opened the door without either of us noticing.
“Luca!” I hissed. I glanced behind him at the doorway but I didn’t see anyone in the hallway behind him, thank goodness.
“Relax,” Luca said, dragging the word out and rolling his eyes. “I’m not going to rat you out for making out with your boyfriend in your room. Although I can’t say I’m happy that I had to walk in on this—I’ve seen enough of Nina and Finn making out on the couch to last a lifetime.”
“Shut up, Luca!” Nina’s muffled voice came from across the hall.
“I’ve never been happier that I go to boarding school,” I said flatly. I pushed myself up to sit and tugged the scrunchie out of my hair so I could retie my bun in a hopefully less disastrous look. Beside me, Tino sat up as well, looking very uncomfortable. I guess I couldn’t blame him for that. “Now did you need something or did you just come in here to be annoying?”
Luca put a hand to his chest. “I am deeply offended that you think the only reason I would come in here is to annoy you.” I just stared at him until his face broke into another grin. “Okay, fine, that was the main reason. But I also wanted to tell you there’s double chocolate ice cream in the basement freezer if you want some with the leftover cake. I got it for you.”
It was amazing how much I could hate and love my brother in one moment.
“Thank you,” I said but my voice came out a little sullen because I still wasn’t happy with him. “Now get out.”
Luca laughed loudly but he did as I asked, though he pointedly left the door only half-closed. I sighed but got up to close it all the way, hearing him go, “Oh, Ninaaaa” as I shut it softly. A moment later, I heard yelling that sounded like both Nina and Finn, who I imagined were probably in a similar position to the one Tino and I had been in moments before.
I pressed my back to the closed door as I turned to look at Tino with a sheepish expression. For his part, he was looking anywhere but at me. I gave myself ten seconds to appreciate how he looked in his pajamas with thoroughly messed up hair and the remnants of my chapstick on his face, before I walked over and sat in front of him on the edge of the bed.
“I’m sorry about him,” I said. “He’s just… well, you know what brothers are like.”
“Yeah,” Tino said but his voice sounded weirdly distant. I reached out to put a hand on his knee but stopped myself at the last moment. I’d fallen so easily into my role as his fakegirlfriend lately that it was starting to become second nature, but I wasn’t sure whether it should. Kissing, to me, was a sign that something had changed between us, but what if it wasn’t to him? What if this was just a one-off, no-feelings-involved situation and I would be making it weird by taking it a step further?
I hugged my arms tightly against my stomach so I wouldn’t feel tempted to reach out, then looked around for something to talk about. The only thing that prompted me was the TV.
“Why don’t we watch a movie?” I suggested. “It’s still early enough.”
Tino didn’t look at me as he nodded. My heart fell, wishing I could comfort him but unsure how to. How would I have reassured him before we started fake dating? I couldn’t even remember anymore. It felt like I was sliding headfirst into this unintentionally, and I desperately needed a life preserver to stop me from drowning, but nobody could save me.
I got up slowly and walked around the bed to my side. Tino pulled the covers over himself stiffly, seeming to take extra care to make sure we didn’t bump elbows. It hurt more than I imagined it could.
The movie flickered across the screen in pale light, some half-watched comedy Luca must’ve left on the queue. I couldn’t have told you the plot if I tried. The room smelled faintly like mint toothpaste and the faint sweetness of Tino’s cologne, and every time he shifted beside me, the sheets whispered between us.
It wasn’t tense exactly—just fragile. Like the air would shatter if one of us breathed too loudly.
Halfway through, Tino shifted and murmured, “Do you want the blanket?”
I looked over. “You’re already under it.”
