It wasn’t even about how she looked—though she’d worn that soft blue dress that made my brain short-circuit—it was the way she looked at them. The pride in her face, the pure joy. She loved them all, that chaotic pack of her brother and his bandmates, and for a second I couldn’t tell if I was jealous of them or just in awe that she could love so big.
After the show, the band insisted on us coming with them to some after party, and I might have tried to refuse if I wasn’t busy just trying to breathe in a room where Lilah existed like she was right now—glowing, effortless, alive.
Instead, I was walking alongside them into an insane venue that felt like it was miles above the city and fancier than anything I’d ever seen in my life—all glass walls, velvet booths, and dimlighting contrasted with flashing lights. Music thumped through the floor, bass heavy enough to feel in your ribs, and everyone was laughing in a way that reminded me of when we won an impossible hockey game and were high on adrenaline.
“Smile, Valentine,” Lilah said, bumping her shoulder lightly against mine as we stepped inside. Her voice was raised to be heard over the music, but there was laughter underneath it. “You’re supposed to look like you’re having fun.”
Someone handed us glasses of champagne as we passed, and she took hers with a polite thank you, raising it slightly in a mock-toast. “To pretending.”
I clinked my glass gently against hers. “Our specialty.”
The music shifted to something by Taylor Swift, which made Hudson and Neil sing along at the top of their lungs while their girlfriends laughed. Luca and Nina tugged Lilah away for a siblings photo, leaving me alone with our champagne glasses. While she was gone, I caught sight of myself in one of the mirrored pillars—my suit looked idiotic, my tie a little crooked, and my hair a total mess, even though it had looked nice when we left the house. Despite the events I’d gone to with my brothers, I’d never felt like I belonged in this world and seeing myself now, I couldn’t help but feel that it must have been obvious to everyone who could see me.
I handed off our champagne glasses to a server moving by, then tugged at my tie. Initially I was going to loosen it like how I wore it at school, but I ended up taking it off completely, along with my suit jacket, and rolled up the sleeves of my shirt. At least now I didn’t look like I was cosplaying like someone I wasn’t.
Lilah returned a moment later, flushed from laughing, and she practically fell into me as she grabbed my arm. I stiffened instinctively, torn between wanting to make sure that she didn’t fall over in her way-too-tall shoes and not wanting to overstep her boundaries or make her think I was trying to make a passon her. She didn’t notice my mental dilemma at all as she straightened back up—brushing her hand along my chest for a moment too long—and smiled widely at me.
“Dance with me,” she said.
I blinked. “I don’t dance.”
“That’s not true,” she said. “You danced at the Christmas thing last year.”
“That was a slow dance,” I said. “This—” I gestured to the pulsing lights, the crowd moving like a single living thing “—is chaos.”
“Exactly.” Her eyes gleamed. “Come on. It’ll sell the story.”
“There’s not even anyone from school here.”
She ignored me as she just tugged me into the crowd.
For the record, she was terrible at dancing too—too enthusiastic, too unbothered—but she looked so happy that I didn’t care. Every time she laughed, her hair slipped loose, brushing my neck. Every time she reached for me to steady herself, her fingers caught mine and didn’t immediately let go.
I could feel myself smiling—not because I had to for the image, but because Lilah was smiling, and that alone made my lips turn up.
At one point, I leaned down to shout something in her ear, and she turned at the same time. We almost collided—barely half an inch between us—and she froze, her breath catching against my collar.
“Sorry,” I said, though I didn’t move.
Her eyes flicked up. “Don’t be.”
We might’ve stayed like that forever if Luca hadn’t appeared beside us, his bow tie undone, hair a mess, grinning like a maniac. “You two look disgustingly happy. Stop that.”
“Go away,” Lilah said sweetly.
“Gladly. But only if you promise not to make me an uncle tonight.”
“LUCA!”
He vanished before she could throw anything at him. I was still laughing when she turned back to me, muttering under her breath about brothers being the worst. Her annoyance was cute.
It was around then that she started limping, just a little, and tried to pretend she wasn’t.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Fine,” she said, too quickly.
“Sure about that?”
