“THIS IS LOVELY.”CAROLINE’Ssmile was nervous as Hans led us into the narrow hallway of his sister’s home.
I’d seen similar expressions from her multiple times.It was the same nervy gesture my subordinates had offered me at Fortorus.
“It’s Anneke’s taste, not mine.”Hans dismissed her praise, shrugging off his coat as he motioned for us to move into the apartment.
“There’s a bathroom that way.”He pointed to a door on the left.“Your room is the next on the right.”
“Thanks again,” I told him, as, clutching our bag, I steered Caroline in the direction of the bedroom.“We’ll be on our way as soon as the bank is open.”
“Thank you, Hans!”Caroline called back as I opened the door and ushered her inside.
“Oke.”His voice echoed along the hall, and raising my hand in acknowledgement, I flicked on the light switch and closed the door behind me.
Dim illumination lit the space, presenting a wardrobe and a double bed, the walls and soft furnishings all decorated in the same pale, feminine floral tones whichever way I looked.
“That was a little rude, Sir.”Caroline lowered her voice, her hands falling to her hips with apparent disapproval.“He just gave us somewhere to stay.We could have at least stayed and made small talk.”
Jaw clenching, I shook my head.I’d heard just about enough small talk to last me the rest of my life.
“We need to rest.”I mimicked her hushed tone, dropping the bag by the head of the bed.“And even though he seems like a nice guy, remember, we don’t know him, little girl.Best we keep to ourselves and let him sleep as well.”
“But he’s helped us a lot,” she insisted in a demanding whisper.“IfIcan believe he’s a good man after everything I’ve been through with your gender, then why can’t you?”
Her cutting question temporarily stopped me in my tracks, my mind reeling as she perched on the edge of the bed.
Forcing air from my lips, I realized she was right.If either one of us should have had misgivings about trusting strange men, it should have been her.After all of the shitty things Ian’s order had done to her; tearing her from her home, her job, her friends and family, stripping her of her possessions, her rights, and her freedoms before dragging her to a hellhole like Fortorus, Caroline had survived it all, yet she’d managed to come out of the other side more open and forgiving than I was.
Not just Ian’s order.The snide recognition of my guilt reverberated in my mind.Mine, too.
I’d been one of the original architects of the bloody order, placating Ian’s lunatic plans when I should have been reining him in.I was equally culpable.
“Okay.”Lifting the heel of my hand to my face, I rubbed my eyes.I’d worked long hours at Fortorus, but I couldn’t ever recall feeling so tired before.“You’re right.Hans has done nothing to make me suspicious.It’s just who I am, I suppose.”Who I’ve become.“And I guess old habits are proving hard to shake.I struggle to trust anyone who doesn’t have a proven track record.”
“Yeah.”She sighed.“It’s going to take a while to shake off the shadows of Fortorus.”
“I know.”I slumped on the bed beside her, unsure if the pounding in my head was the weight of my shame, guilt, exhaustion, or perhaps something more worrying.“Having regrets about your choice of traveling companion, little girl?”
“Of course not, Sir.”Stretching out at my side, she somehow managed to look like a sexy siren instead of a prisoner on the run.“I love you, and I have no regrets.”She reached for my hand and stroked my fingers.“Look how far we’ve come together already.”
She was correct, again, but staring at the intricately plastered ceiling, our alleged accomplishment seemed unclear.Yes, we’d made it out of Britain, and we were, somehow, both unscathed, but beyond the bank, I had no real plan for what came next.In that moment, the weight of that uncertainty was crushing.
We’d need to keep moving, potentially spending years on the run, but worse was the thought that I’d spend the rest of our lives looking over my shoulder in case someone recognized me, realized my part in what had happened, and sent me into custody at The Hague.
I turned my head to meet her smile.Was that really a life she could live with?I couldn’t shake the feeling that she deserved much better.
Blowing out a breath, I finally met her eyes.“You’re delirious, little girl.One day, you’re going to wake up and see me for the monster that I am.”
Where was the current barrage of self-deprecation coming from?I was usually so steadfast and fucking self-assured.Many had called me cocky and arrogant.I scarcely recognized the man sprawled out on the vile, flowery bedspread, so goodness only knew what Caroline would make of him.
“You’re tired.”She tugged my hand from my chest and kissed my fingers, the feel of her caresses easing me back to life a little.“We both need to rest, Sir.”
“Yeah.”I forced my lips to tug upward, still uncertain what was wrong with me.I was rarely sentimental, yet Caroline seemed able to manifest multiple emotions from me all at the same time.She had right from the beginning.“You’re right, but before we sleep, I just want to say thank you, sweetheart.”
Shaking her head, she leaned closer.“If anyone should be saying thanks, it’s me, Adam.You saved my life back there in Fortorus, on more than one occasion.”
A haze of those recollections flooded my senses; memories from the initial encounter with Sorosson and Walker, the sentries who’d wanted to abuse her, to the way I’d protected her from Ian’s dirty paws.I had looked out for her, but in those early days, my actions were mainly derived from a desire to keep her for myself, not due to some altruistic savior complex.
“I did what I had to do.”
