I’ve had sex and I’ve had fun.I’ve had every version of distraction there is.This is none of those things.This is a fuse burning down my spine, ready to blow me apart in a way that ensures I won’t ever be put back together in the same way.It reveals one singular truth… Maddie is different.
I can feel it in my bones that I found my match and it’s a certainty I didn’t even know I was looking for.
She gasps my name, fingers locking behind my neck, pulling me closer, like she wants to tell me a truth she can’t get words around.I press my lips to her temple, to the corner of her mouth, to the line of her jaw, and I give her what she’s asking for without her having to say it.
Deeper, harder when she begs.
I listen.
I answer.
I learn.
“Look at me,” I say rough, because I want this branded into both of us.When her eyes snap to mine, the heat in my chest goes blinding.There’s nothing guarded in her face anymore, just want and wonder and fear warring with hope.All those emotions from a woman who has locked them tight away is more of a turn-on than I could have ever imagined.I kiss her hard enough to turn that hope into reality, and it’s at that moment her body tightens.
She makes a startled sound, stiffens and then cries out as pleasure crests within her for a second time.I hadn’t seen it coming, but the fierceness of it and the way she clutches at me as if she’s afraid to fall splinters my control.She gasps and I grunt, and I’m falling right over the edge with her.
I hold Maddie tight, bury my face at her throat, and let it take me.It’s not quiet and it’s not pretty.It’s a relief that I’ve never experienced and for a long moment afterward, we don’t move.Her chest rises against mine, my heart slams against hers, and the only sound in the room is two people trying to figure out what to do with the pieces after they just detonated.
She peels back enough to see my face.There’s a question in her eyes…Who are we now?
When she offers me the tiniest smile, the knot of uncertainty loosens, knowing that no matter what, she has no regrets.
I swipe my thumb along her lower lip.“Hey,” I murmur, because words are hard and also because it feels important to say something simple and true.
“Hey,” she echoes, voice ragged, softening into a laugh that turns my chest inside out.
I lean in and kiss that laugh, slow this time, grateful.When we separate, I press our foreheads together and whisper, “You okay?”
“Never better,” she drawls dreamily.
“So, this was the worst idea ever,” I tease.
“The absolute worst,” she agrees.
“Like, it would be an awful idea to go to my room and do this again, right?”
“Even worse than the absolute worst.”She giggles.
“That’s what I thought,” I exclaim, pushing up from the couch and sweeping her into my arms.“I’m in for another round.”
Maddie shrieks from the sudden movement but wraps her arms around my neck.“I’m in too.”
I adjust my grip because although she’s not heavy, she’s precious, and I’m not risking a single misstep.
The house is dark and quiet as I carry her through it.I feel the way she relaxes against me, arms looped around my neck, fingers idly tracing the back of it like she’s memorizing a pattern.Everything in me settles at that touch, which I find bizarre given our circumstances.Everything should be more complicated but truly, it just makes sense.
In my room, I set Maddie on the bed, her body glowing under the warm bulb of the bedside lamp.My eyes take a slow, greedy pass over everything I’ve been trying not to want for weeks.She returns my gaze with the same declaration of desire.
I join her, covering her body with mine.Her palms span my chest, and I feel like I might actually come apart from tenderness alone.
Is this because of what we share outside of sex?Did Gray’s death and Grayce alone bond us more deeply than we had imagined possible?
All questions I’m not keen to answer right now, because all I can think about is making love to her in a much different way.
I’m not in a hurry now.There’s less fire, more crackling embers.I take my time relearning the mouth I just devoured, mapping the places that make her tremble, figuring out what gentle feels like when I want to destroy.We move together again, slower this time, unhurried, and it’s just as fucking fantastic.
Maddie holds me and I hold her and there’s no couch to complain under us, no rush, no fear, just a joining that feels like it might carry us over the walls we’ve both lived behind.When she breaks again—quieter, deeper—I follow with a groan I couldn’t swallow if I tried.
