“Shit,” I said, looking at the time. “Shit, shit,shit!”I scrambled up out of my seat, tripped over the leg of the stool and went sprawling. I got to my feet, waving away Sean’s hand, and lumbered towards the door, drunk with fatigue. “I said I’d take Kayley to see a movie. I need to be picking her upnow.”
Sean stepped in front of me and put a big, solid hand on my chest. “Stop,”he commanded. “When did you last sleep?”
I shrugged andharumphedand pushed soil-flecked hair out of my face. “I have to go.”
“You have togoupstairs and sleep,”he told me.
“But—”
“I’lltake Kayley to see the movie.” He pushed me towards the stairs. “No arguments. Go.”
Before I could stop him, he’d left. And after a few more seconds of staring after him in disbelief, I reluctantly crawled up the stairs and collapsed on the bed. I slept for fourteen hours and woke to a text from Kayley saying how much she liked Sean and “could they do it again, please?”
My heart swelled. I rolled over and saw Sean stretched out on the bed next to me—he’d crept into bed without waking me, one arm wrapped protectively around me. Kayley liked him and I needed him on a level I’d never known before. It was so, so tempting to imagine some future where we could all be together. But every day, he disappeared for a few hours to work another job for a dealer, smashing up someone’s car or house or business, scaring them into submission. I knew now where all the anger came from. I knew that he didn’twantto be doing that work. But that didn’t change the fear I felt every single time he put his hammer in the trunk of his car and drove off.What if he doesn’t come back?Or what if more of his enemies came looking for revenge, as the Serbians had done?There was no way I could put Kayley at risk by having Sean in our lives, however much I wanted him.
Gradually, my efforts paid off. The plants shot up and the buds grew sticky, creamy and huge. When the time came to harvest, I finally dared to admit that maybe this was going to work. Me beingme, I’d been cautious about my estimates all along: I’d planted enough that we could lose at least ten percent, but we’d lost almost none. And judging by the look of the buds, this really was premium stuff.
Sean helped me dry it and cure it, sealing it into carefully-weighed plastic bags. It really was a bumper crop: more like $550,000 worth, although I knew we’d be lucky to get that much out of Malone. For a second, I actually felt aggrieved. Who was he, to set the price? Maybe we could negotiate, threaten to go elsewhere….
What the hell am I doing?I caught myself just in time. When did I start thinking like a criminal, trying to squeeze every last cent out of the crop?This is not what I do! This is just a one-time thing.Getting greedy was tempting fate. All we needed was the $500,000 to pay for Kayley’s treatment and not a cent more. I felt like I was stepping back from a deep, dark chasm and it took another hour focusing on the mindless task of bagging before I felt fully normal again.
When we bagged the last bag, the crop filled an entire large tabletop: we’d stacked the bags like bricks, making a solid mass of weed three feet high.
Sean whistled and ran his hand down the stack. “We’re going to need to rent a van to move it. It’s too much to fit in your car.”
I slipped my arm around his waist. “I can’t believe we’ve done it. We’ve done it, right? I mean, this isit.”
He squeezed me and nodded. “This is it. Andwedidn’t do it. You did. This is all you and your green fingers.”
I shook my head and put my arms around his neck, grinning. “No. No way, I’m not letting you evenstartdown that road. I couldn’t have done it without you.” I winced when I thought how many ways I would have messed it up without him: I wouldn’t have known about hiding the smell of the plants, I would have fallen prey to some loan shark like Murray, I wouldn’t have had any idea how to set up a meeting with someone like Malone. God, I’d been about to growin my own apartment!
Sean shrugged and grunted, but he was smiling. “We should celebrate,” he said. “How about—”
My phone rang and he went quiet while I answered. I was still grinning so hard that it took several seconds for what I was hearing to sink in. Then I grabbed Sean’s hand and ran for my car.
Kayley had been rushed to the hospital...and she was critical.
54
LOUISE
We crashedthrough the doors of the hospital and sprinted up to the desk. “Kayley Willowby,” I panted to the woman. “Kayley Willowby—where is she?”
“One second.” She started tapping at her computer.
“I should have been here,” I sobbed to Sean. I’d been too frantic on the drive over to cry, but now the tears were starting to burn my eyes. “I should have been at the apartment with her but I was off—”
Sean grabbed me and pulled me in tight to his chest, stroking my hair. I could feel the tension in his body, too, every muscle knotted under the thin cotton of his tank top.
“Date of birth?” asked the woman behind the desk.
I told it to her between sobs.Come on. COME ON!
The woman frowned. “No Kayley Willowby has been admitted.”
I clutched at the edge of the desk, close to meltdown. “Are you sure? Are you checking the ER?”
“Louise,” said Sean behind me.
