I sat at a red light, tapping my fingers on the wheel. Sean’s words came back to me. What would I do, if someone did break in?
When the light went green, I turned away from the takeout place and towards a Wal Mart. First, I bought some kitchen knives and then, after trawling through the sporting goods section, I found an aluminum baseball bat. Then I finally grabbed the takeout and headed back.
Stupid,I thought, as I sat cross-legged on the mattress with the knives spread out in front of me.I’m being stupid. Nothing’s going to happen.I made a mental note to hide everything the next morning, so that Sean didn’t see it. He’d go berserk if he knew what I’d done.
At ten, I called home to say goodnight to Kayley.
By eleven, the traffic noise outside had stopped and the house was deathly quiet.This is fine. I’ll just sleep.
At midnight, I was still lying there staring at the ceiling, willing the hours to pass, my body wracked with tension.How does Sean do this?I kept expecting to hear footsteps outside or the sound of breaking glass.
I thought about running for the car.I could be home in ten minutes, back to my safe little burrow. I could apologize to Stacey, hug the sleeping Kayley and everything would be great.
And the weed would be sitting here undefended. What if someone was sitting out thereright nowwaiting to see if I left? What if me being here was the only thing stopping them?
I lay there for another few minutes, my mind switching back and forth. And then I heard the noise, faintly at first, so faint I couldn’t make out what it was. A rising and falling tone. I scrunched up my forehead, listening as it got louder. Wait...it wasn’t...no…
Shit!
Sirens.
31
LOUISE
People talkabout the paralysis of fear. I know now what they mean. I sat bolt upright on the mattress and then froze there, listening, as the sirens came closer.
Run,I thought. There was still time. I could run for the car. If I left right now….
But I didn’t run. I sat there, digging my fingers into my knees, praying that I’d hear the sirens change in tone as they turned off down a side street. But they just keep coming.
Run!Too late to get the car started and out of the garage, now, but I could run out of the front door and be walking down the street when they got there.My house, officer? No, not mine, I was just out for a walk. I don’t know who lives there.
But my car was in the garage. The house was rented in my name. Even if I was gone when they got there...the fear clutched at my stomach, freezing liquid lead.This is not happening, this is not happening….
The sirens entered our street, so loud that I couldn’t think. All the windows were covered with Sean’s fake walls, but there were enough tiny cracks that the darkened room still lit up with red and blue flashes.
Run!Out of the back door and hope they haven’t surrounded the house. Get a good lawyer.At least I’d have a chance!But by then it was too late: the lights got brighter and brighter, the sirens hurting my ears.They’ll go past. They’ll go right past and it’ll all be okay—
Tires screeched, right outside, and the sirens went quiet. The whole room was alive with moving, fan-shaped red and blue patterns as the lights bathed the front of the house.
Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Car doors opened and slammed outside. Voices. Radio crackles.
I squeezed my eyes shut.Mom!How had everything gone so wrong?I was just trying to save Kayley!Now I was going to jail and Kayley was going to die scared and alone.
Footsteps. I tried to convince myself they weren’t coming my way.
Three heavy, authoritative bangs on the door. “LAPD!”
I looked around in horror at the knives and baseball bat around me. If they kicked the door down and saw this, they might shoot first. “Coming!” I yelled, and threw the weapons into the far corner of the room, under a table. Then I ran to the door, undid the locks and opened it, ready to face my fate.
A dark-haired young cop stood there, his gun drawn. “Ma’am? We have a situation out here. I want you to stay in your house and keep away from the windows.”
I just blinked at him.
“We have a suspect on the loose in this street and he’s armed. Just stay indoors.” And he raced off down the path. Across the street, I could see more officers knocking on other doors.
