Lennie was looking at the top of the blonde’s head. She was unbuttoning the top of his shirt, now, and starting to press her lips against his chest in hungry little kisses. “Why the fuck would you want to see Malone?” he mumbled.
Working for these people is kind of like being their attack dog. They respect you for your abilities, but they don’t expect their animals to talk back...or even talk, period.
“I’ve got word about some product,” I said. “Weed. A lot of weed. Really good stuff.”
Lennie grunted and shifted in his seat. His shirt was undone halfway, now, and the blonde was kissing his nipples. “You rip someone off, Irish?”
“I know a grower. A new one. It’s just business, Lennie. More weed for everyone—that’s good, right?”
The blonde was massaging his cock through his pants, but Lennie’s eyes were suddenly on me. “You’re trying to do adeal?WithMalone?”He gave me a patronizing grin and shook his head. “That’s afucking dramatic leap up the food chain. Why don’t you bring this grower to me? I can make the introduction.” He leaned back in his seat, humping his groin into the blonde’s hand a little.
I knew what he was saying:all you’re good for is smashing stuff.I said nothing, just sat there and soaked it up. But I let my fingers play up and down the shaft of my hammer like it was the fret of my guitar.
Lennie’s smile faded along with his hard-on. “But sure,” he said quickly. “Sure, if you want to see Malone, I can make that happen.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Lennie.” I leaned my hammer back against my shoulder and relaxed my hands.
With the threat gone, Lennie tried to regain control of things. “You okay, Irish? You seem different. Woman trouble?” He looked down at the blonde, who was drawing his hardening cock out of his pants. “You want to find yourself a girl like Marissa here. Marissa knows how to have fun.”
I gave a non-committal grunt. I’d thought staying away from Louise would make it easier, but it was like a sickness, a hunger...the longer I went without seeing her, the more she was in my mind. I hadn’t ever had that, before. Women had always been replaceable, to me, as I’m sure I was to them. But now...I hadn’t picked up a woman since that day I’d shared the elevator with Louise. I hadn’t wanted to. The women in those bars I used to go to just seemed…plastic, somehow. Faded and almost translucent, next to the Technicolor reality of Louise.
I wanted her. And yet I knew I couldn’t have her, not unless I wanted to fuck her life up the way I fucked up everything else. Getting involved with her would drag her down into my world, and that would be like seeing a priceless marble statue sink into a swamp. One time wouldn’t be enough and yet more would destroy us both. Because a girl like her would want more—deserved more—than just sex. Butmore—even if I could offer that—would mean her getting much closer than I could let her. I rubbed my back, where the scars were.What the hell am I going to do?I’d gone from barely feeling to being a mess of emotions whenever I was around her. This was a world I just plain didn’t understand.
I realized the car had stopped. Lennie was looking at me expectantly. We’d arrived outside the biker bar—some hapless motorcycle club who’d been dealing coke in Lennie’s territory.A message needs to be sent,he’d said. Already, the bikers had seen the car pull up and they probably recognized it as Lennie’s. Five or six of them were gathering outside the bar.
I climbed out.
“Oh fuck,” one biker said, his face going pale beneath his beard. “He brought the Irish.”
This,I understood. This was my world, the one I didn’t want Louise anywhere near. I lifted the hammer almost lazily, spun in a circle and smashed it into the rear wheel of one of the Harleys parked outside. The first blow is always the most important. This one caved in the wheel and sent the bike toppling onto the one next to it, setting off a domino effect. The bikers jumped back, cursing, mad as hell but too scared to approach.
I could feel the anger unwinding in my chest, coming to life like a waking dragon. I slammed the hammer down into the next bike and the front forks crumpled. A biker howled as he saw his baby ruined. I’ve smashed a lot of things in my time and I’ve learned the fastest ways to cause the most expensive damage.
I swung the hammer down on a bike’s fuel tank and it felt fantastic. One swing dented it. The second brought the stench of gasoline and a rapidly-spreading dark puddle on the concrete. I was in my element now, the adrenaline flooding my veins, the anger burning bright.
“Jesus!” yelled one of the bikers. “Enough!” He and another guy finally ran at me. I swung the handle of the hammer into the stomach of one, hard enough to leave him doubled-over and winded. The other guy I dodged and then pushed backward, using the head of the hammer against his chest, so that he was out in the middle of the street. The other bikers followed, snarling and cursing but not brave enough to try rushing me again.
“You stop dealing,” I growled at them. “Or you keep it off Lennie’s turf.”
“Alright!” snapped one of them. He had a President patch on his jacket. “We get it!”
I stepped back towards the bikes. And took out a lighter.
“Aw, come on!” pleaded the President. “We got it!”
I looked from his agonized eyes to the pile of gasoline-soaked bikes...and something happened: I saw the scene as Louise would. And suddenly, the anger slunk away, an animal forced back to its cave, and I just felt disgusted at myself.
“It’s your lucky day,” I muttered, and put the lighter back in my pocket. Then I stalked back to the car, where Lennie was grinning at the devastation I’d caused and the blonde was wiping her mouth.
The car moved off with me sitting brooding in the back. I couldn’t even enjoy the one thing I did well, anymore. Staying away from Louise wasn’t working.
I had to see her.
24
LOUISE
The grow house had changed.With summer properly underway, it was stifling inside. It wasn’t so much the raw heat—we couldn’t let it gettoohot, or the plants would die—but the lack of windows. Combined with the thriving plants, the whole place was starting to feel like a jungle: a few howler monkeys and a leopard prowling around and the picture would be complete. I knew the conditions were ideal for the plants...but that didn’t make them comfortable to work in. I’d stripped down to a spaghetti-strap pink top and an old pair of shorts. I didn’t normally like baring that much skin, both because I’m shy and because with my skin I burn in about thirty seconds flat. But I figured it was okay since I was out of the sun...and there was no one there to see me.
