We squared up to one another. “We’ll go for three minutes,” hesaid, looking at the clock. “Just like the real thing. Remember:keep me away,okay? That’s where your advantage is—at arm’s length.”
I nodded.
And it began.
He let me warm up a little to start with, letting me circle him and get into my rhythm. Fighting, I was learning, was a lot like dancing. It’s okay as long as you’re in the flow, but once you lose it, you’ve lost it and it’s hard to get it back again. As the seconds ticked by, I felt myself loosening up, darting in and out of range. I was starting to really see the differences between us. He was all solid, hard power, his powerful shoulders and biceps hinting at the damage he’d do if I dared to get within range of him. I was faster than him—there was just no way he could dance around like I could. But I didn’t wield anything like the same power. My only hope was to whittle him down slowly. It was like being a bee, buzzing around a grunting, pawing bull. I had to land a hundred good hits; he only had to land one.
But I couldn’t hit him.
Not even once.
It wasn’t like hitting the bag, or hitting pads, or even the times we’d sparred and he’d told me to try to tap one of his gloves, or his side, or the side of his head. This was me, actually trying to land a punch on him.
“Come on,” he grunted. “Come at me.”
I shuffled closer. Backed off. Shuffled closer again. I could feel my heart racing.Hit him?!I didn’t want to hit him. He was...Aedan.There wasn’t anyone I wanted to hit less.
“Forget it’s me,” he told me sharply, as if reading my mind. “Pretend it’s someone else, if you have to.” His jaw tightened. “Make me some guy who’s hurt you.”
My mind went back to The Pit. The scrape of the concrete wall against my naked ass. That bastard’s hand, cupping my sex.
I flew at him, aiming hooks at his kidneys. He blocked one and deflected the other, but had to step back a little, lowering his guard. I knew what I had to do next—go for the face. I launched a jab at that gorgeous, hard jaw—
And my fist skirted wide. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t hit him and I couldn’t pretend he was someone else. Not when I felt like this about him.
His mouth drew back into a snarl. “Come on!”
I went for the head again, but my hits were half-hearted. Hitting him was like trying to injure myself—my brain just refused to do it.
“You better come at me,” he grunted. “Because I’m going to come at you.”
And then he did.
23
AEDAN
Hit her.
I’d known what I had to do ever since I’d climbed into the ring. Hell, I’d known it the moment she’d come to me on the docks. But that didn’t mean I could do it. Moments ago, I’d been staring at her as she tried to use her teeth to do up her glove, so feckin’ cute I wanted to weep. Now I had to hit her?!
She probably thought I was taking it easy on her, letting her warm up. The truth was, I couldn’t lay into her. I waited for her to hit me, hoping that once the fight got going, it would be easier to open up on her. But she didn’t want to hit me either—I could see it in her eyes. I tried to goad her into it, even tried to get her to think of me as some guy who’d hurt her, which made my guts twist. But any anger I roused in her was gone in a second. She couldn’t follow through.
And that meant it was time to hit her.
I waded into it, knocking aside her punches and getting closer, pushing her back towards the ropes. She blocked the first two jabs I threw at her but the third one sent her off balance. She staggered back, her guard down.
Now.I had to show her what happened when she dropped her guard. If she never got hit, she’d never get over her fear.
I raised my fist. My guts knotted. Jesus, she looked so beautiful, so soft and delicate.How do guys do this? Why would anyone want to break something this amazing?
I had to.
I hit her with one good blow to the side of the head, making sure it landed on the padded helmet. Maybe half my usual power. She staggered sideways and I saw the flash of shock in her eyes.Feck.
I was back to being a monster again. Or maybe I’d never stopped.
But it had worked. She’d had that first hit—I’d popped her cherry and now she knew it wasn’t going to kill her. She came at me again, pushing me back with a good combo. I relaxed a little and got in a quick little hook, signaling it well so that she’d be able to block it.
