“Delicious,” he breathes, releasing my hands.
He moves around, aligning our bodies.His mouth on me is demanding yet soothing.I wrap my fingers around his throbbing cock, guiding it to my mouth.I lick him as if his erection is a treat I’ve been dying to eat.Because I have.He’s wider and longer than I’d imagined.Then again, my only sexual experience was with a college boyfriend who ran away and never looked back after meeting my mafia brother.
Right now, the world has narrowed to nothing but the sensation of Shelby’s smooth skin under my fingers.As I suck and lick him, allowing his cock to slide down my throat, there’s a connection between us.I’ve never felt this close to anyone before, and that should terrify me.
It doesn’t.
Not when my mind and body are busy enjoying the sensation of Shelby’s wicked tongue and naughty fingers inside my pussy.Certainly not when his moans of pleasure become louder than my fears.And the tsunami of ecstasy has drowned out everything else.
“I’m going to come,” Shelby announces inside my sex as his hips perk back and he tries to pull his erection out of my mouth.
“Mm-hmm,” I murmur, sinking my fingers into the tight muscles of his ass to keep him inside.
When his orgasm explodes down my throat, I swallow every ounce.At the same time, my flesh trembles around his fingers and lips.He presses my sweet spot, and I wail as pleasure spreads through my veins.Our bodies shake as we succumb to the power of it all.
When we come back down to earth, Shelby moves to lie beside me, and we get tangled together in the silk sheets.Shelby’s fingertips trace patterns on my bare shoulder.His other arm is tucked beneath his head, and his eyes are closed, his expression peaceful in a way I’ve never seen it before.For the first time since I’ve known him, he looks like someone who isn’t carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
This feels dangerously close to intimacy.Somewhere in the back of my mind, I understand that I’ve crossed a line I won’t be able to uncross.
I’ve let him in.
“I wasn’t supposed to let this happen,” I say quietly, more to myself than to him.
His eyes open, and he turns his head to look at me with a deep crease between his eyebrows.“What do you mean?”
“I was supposed to keep this separate,” I continue, voicing the fears that have been circling through my mind for days.“I was supposed to marry you, but keep my heart safe.”
Shelby reaches up and brushes a strand of hair from my face.“And now?”he asks, a small smile tugging at the corner of his full lips.
“Now I’m terrified,” I admit, and the honesty of it makes something in my chest twist.“Because I think I’ve ruined everything by letting myself want this.Want you.”
“Maybe wanting something isn’t the same as ruining it,” Shelby says, with a wide grin now.‘Maybe it’s the only thing that could actually save us.”
I want to believe him.I want to believe that vulnerability doesn’t equal destruction, that opening my heart to him won’t result in betrayal and heartbreak.I want to believe that this insane, temporary arrangement could actually work.
But doubt whispers at the edges of my consciousness, reminding me that hope is dangerous and trust is a luxury people can’t afford in our world.
“What happens when this is over?”I ask.
“Who says it’s going to be over?’His voice is firm, confident.Instead of comforting me, this makes my anxiety spike. “Serena, I married you because I wanted to.Because somewhere between Syria and Russia and that night in my penthouse, you became the most important person in my life.”
His words scare the hell out of me.This is too much too soon.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” I say, pulling away from him slightly.“Don’t make this real if you don’t actually want it to be real.”
“What if I do?”he asks, sitting up slightly.“What if I’m tired of being afraid?What if I want to try to build something with you?”
I shake my head, my chest tight.“You’ll change your mind when things get difficult.You’ll realize that I’m just baggage, that loving me means inheriting all my father’s enemies and complications.You’ll decide it’s not worth it.”
“Serena—“
“I’ve seen what happens when men decide women aren’t worth the effort,” I interrupt, and my voice is sharp now, cutting.“I’ve been on the receiving end of that decision.I won’t survive it from you.”
Shelby is quiet for a long moment.Then he reaches over and cups my face in his hands, forcing me to meet his eyes.“Then we’ll have to make sure I never get the chance to make that decision.We’ll have to make this real.Make it impossible for either of us to walk away.”
“That’s not how this works,” I say, but my voice is weaker now.“We agreed this was temporary.”
“I’ve changed my mind,” Shelby says simply.“And if you’re honest with yourself, so have you.”
