She moves with a grace that draws every eye, though hers stays focused on the kids. She crouches to hand a box to a little girl in pigtails, her prosthetic arm gleaming faintly under the fluorescent lights despite the long sleeve covering it. The sight stirs raw emotions in me—an admiration and a protectiveness I have no right to feel. She’s been through hell. That much is clear. And yet here she is, laughing, smiling, like she’s unbreakable. But I know from personal experience. The tougher the facade, the brittler the heart.
I should leave now. I should turn around and walk away before I do something stupid. Like, approach her. Like ask her out, or some shit normal people do. I’m not normal people. I’m a fucking enforcer for the Boyle Brotherhood. I’ve no business craving normal, especially not with a woman like Sophia. She’s been through more than her fair share of shitty curveballs. The last thing she needs in her life is a motherfucker, such as me, lusting over her. I’d better ignore the way my flesh burns at the memory of her warmth, her scent.
I shouldn’t want her the way I do.
But fuck it, I do want this woman.
I enjoyed that appetizer at the wedding way too much, and now I hunger the whole fucking banquet. I want Sophia in my bed, under my command, for a whole night, at least.
“Dad, look!” Pete’s voice jerks me back to reality. His excitement vibrates through his small frame.
I kneel beside him; my stiff body turns my movements slow and awkward. I wrap an arm around my boy’s shoulders as if I could keep all the bad shit out there from hurting him. Again.
I hold his stare. “What’s that, bud?”
“Can I go say hi to Santa?”
I nod, my eyes returning to Sophia as I stand up. “Go ahead, son. I’ll be right here.”
He darts forward, weaving his way through the cluster of children. Sophia’s smile softens as she watches him approach. I shove my hands into my pockets, trying to ignore the way my heart pounds when her gaze briefly flicks toward me.
Pete chats animatedly with Santa, accepting a big box wrapped in green and red paper. “Thanks, Santa,” he says before turning his attention to Sophia. His curiosity has always been boundless. He doesn’t hesitate to point at her arm. “You’re a cyborg like in the movies?” he asks, his voice filled with awe.
I wish a hole in the ground would pop up right now and swallow me. But she accepts the question with a grace that suggests she’s been dealing with that for a while.
Sophia laughs a sound that wraps around me and doesn’t let go. She crouches to his level, pulling up the sleeve of her cardigan to reveal the sleek prosthetic. “I am,” she says, winking and wiggling her fingers. The faint whir of the mechanism under the silicone skin fills the air, and Pete’s eyes go wide.
“Cool!” He reaches out, his tiny fingers brushing against her wrist. “Does it shoot lasers?”
She grins. “Not yet. But maybe one day.”
I can’t help a smirk. Pete is utterly captivated, and Sophia handles his questions with an ease that only makes her more irresistible.
“Are you Santa’s helper?” Pete asks, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial yet theatrical whisper.
Sophia nods solemnly. But I notice a slight twitch at the corner of her lips as she says, “You bet I am.”
“Awesome.” Pete beams, covering the side of his mouth with a hand and murmuring, “Will you help us decorate our house? Santa will be mad at me if he doesn’t get his cookies.”
The meaning of his words hit me like a freight train derailing. I step forward, kneeling beside him. “Hey, bud, Santa would never get mad at a good boy like you,” I say. The emotions clogging my throat make my voice rougher than I’d like. “Plus, his helper is too busy right now.” I glance at Sophia.
Her eyes seem to see straight through me. Her voice is soft, almost hesitant. “I’ll stop by.” She looks as surprised as I feel at her response, but her gaze stays on Pete. “I’d be honored to help you, Pete. Even though I agree with your dad—Santa wouldn’t be mad at you.”
Pete claps his hands, his joy contagious. I stand up. I keep my voice low so that only Sophia will hear me, “I was gonna tell you that you didn’t need to do this. But he seems so thrilled now.”
Her smile is warm, her green eyes steady. “I meant it. I’d be honored to do this for him.”
“It’s settled then.” My voice comes out heavier than usual. “See you back at the house in a couple of hours? I still have some errands to run.”
A shadow clouds her expression before she nods. “See you then.”
I take Pete’s hand, leading him toward the exit and wondering what that doubt on Sophia’s face really meant. I bet she’s already heard about my past. Hell, about my present. When I asked Dave for time to rethink my life, I believed coming back home would help me escape the danger and the darkness.
I was so naive.
No, actually, I was deeply wounded and desperate to protect my son from the nightmare. Turns out that danger will follow me anywhere I go. I’m beginning to realize that the best way to protect Pete is by working for the Syndicate.
The walk to the car is silent, save for the crunch of snow beneath our feet. My mind races at the possibility of having Sophia in my life. What would it be like? Can I afford this luxury? Her presence would be great for Pete. I saw that clearly just now when they were interacting. But would my lifestyle be good for her? My heart breaks, torn between the image of Sophia’s bright smile and the shadowy reality I can’t escape.
