“I let you believe I was having an affair with Mark. I was not,” sheconfessed.
He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deepbreath.
When he stared into her eyes again, she read in them his struggle to keep his feelings in check as clearly as if she was reading abook.
He muttered, “That night at the party, when I caught you two having sex, that wasn’t the first clue I got. It was just the undeniable one. The last straw that broke me. For months before that, I would walk into a room and see Mark’s arm slung around your neck, or his hands touching your face, your waist. And every fucking time I asked about it, you said nothing was going on, but you’d get antsy. Still I didn’t believe my own suspicions because I thought you lovedme.”
“I did.” She noticed his subtle flinching movement, but didn’t dwell on it, or she’d lose focus. “And that’s why I didn’t tell you about Mark’s inappropriate behavior, at first. You worshiped the man and I was naïve to believe I could handle him, until it was too late. I didn’t sleep with him before thatparty.”
Tristan’s hand rubbed his neck. Hard. So hard Izzie spotted the red marks faint as he buried his face in hishands.
“Yeah, you said that then, and I believed you. Even though I had caught you gagging on his dick, I believed you. I forgave you. When you begged me to stay, I caved in because I really didn’t want to go. I wanted to believe you loved me, not him. I stayed and tried to make it work, didn’t I? And how did you repay my trust?” His words were harsh, but his tone remainedflat.
Izzie’s heart burst at the seams as she relived the torment of those days. Tristan had also been to hell and back, all because of her. Wretched, she stared at the wriggling fingers on her lap andwaited.
He continued, “How did you prove your love to me, Izzie? A couple of months after the party, you ripped my heart out again, stomping it under your feet. You told me you were pregnant with Mark’s baby and you were leaving me. What am I missing here? Which part was alie?”
Izzie snapped her head up and held his coldstare.
He was right, yet sowrong.
“Most of it. All of it. I didn’t sleep with Mark before or at that party.” She raised her hands to cut off Tristan’s rebuttal, then joined them in a steeple in front of her face and pleaded with him. “Hear me out before you say anything. I promise I’m giving you the truth now. That means you never heard it before.” She waited for his acknowledgment that he had heard her. It came as a curt nod. She added, “In the beginning, I thought Mark was just being Mark, you know. I mean, the man chased anything in a skirt, but I believed he cared for you, respected you too much to mean anything with his silly comments and wandering hands. I took it all as a lame joke. Often, he’d say something to me, or hug me, in front of other women and I thought he was trying to impress them. Remember how wasted he was all the time backthen?”
“He hung out with those guys from the Crips in LosAngeles.”
“Exactly. They were a vicious crowd, into heavy drugs and guns andstuff.”
“Mark would pick fights in between concerts. We had to bail him out a couple of times or he wouldn’t make it to the next gig,” Tristan noted. “He was a liability, but a damn good guitarist. Plus, he knew everyone that mattered in thebusiness.”
Izzie didn’t miss thosedays.
She nodded. “Exactly. When we arrived at the party, Mark pulled me aside and apologized. He said he had been an ass, that you were like a little brother to him and that he’d never jeopardize your friendship. He said that night was yours and that we should celebrate your futuresuccess.”
A shadowed crossed Tristan’s expression as if the memories of that evening haunted him. They certainly hauntedIzzie.
He whispered, “Except for the apologies, that was pretty much what he said to me too. I thought he was happy forme.”
“Did he offer you champagne to toast your bright future?” Unable to leave out the sarcasm, although directed at herself, not Tristan, she was relieved he didn’t pick up onit.
“Nope.”
“He handed me a flute of bubblies and I emptied it in one swig. I was all for celebrating your contract. I was thrilled for you. After I bottomed up the drink he gave me, I went looking for you and found you in a heated discussion about race cars withNoah.”
Tristan’s stare turned nostalgic and a reluctant smile hitched up the corner of his lips. “You hated racing with apassion.”
“Still do. Anyway, I mingled, talked to friends, and lost track of time. At some point, I felt lightheaded and Mark just popped out of nowhere. He snaked his arm around my waist before I passedout.”
“Now, wait a second. Izzie Anderson passes out in a crowded room and nobody says anything? I was there and I’m sure I would’ve noticed thecommotion.”
Without thinking, Izzie reached out and clasped his wrist for emphasis. Tristan didn’t snatch it away, so she held on to it. He had always been her anchor and she needed to feel grounded now, if she had ever needed support. “It felt like fainting to me because the next thing I remember I was sitting on the edge of a bed while Mark opened my top. He made me kneel in front of him. I swear I tried to stop him, but my arms and hands didn’t obeyme.”
The mix of anger and anguish in Tristan’s eyes threatened to undo Izzie’s resolve. He muttered through clenched teeth, “Mark slipped roofies in your drink?” His hand gripped hers, knuckles turned white, but Izzie paid noheed.
She nodded, waiting for hisoutburst.
It nevercame.
10
