His voice cracks on my name—his accent thickening, his hand actually trembling as it reaches for empty air where mine used to be—and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen him look anything less than completely in control.
But I’m already moving and climbing out of the ambulance, and my own heart starts to bleed as I force myself to walk away without looking back.
I’m sorry, Zacharie.
I’m sorry.
Everything in me is begging to take one last look at him.
But I know if I do, I’ll break.
I’ll be selfish and let him convince me that everything will be okay...
Even if my foolishness keeps putting him in danger.
The automatic doors of the emergency room slide open ahead of me. The police have arrived, but not one of them even looks my way.
I keep walking.
Past a small courtyard, a lonely concrete bench, and a grief-stricken couple.
I walk until I can’t walk anymore.
And that’s when my knees crash to the ground, sobs crawl out of my throat, and I just...cry out in my mind, hoping that what everybody say is true and that God is real because it hurts so, so much that I can no longer breathe.
I love him, God.
I love him.
But how can I stay if he’ll end up dead because of me?
Chapter Fifteen
FORTY-EIGHT HOURS HAVEpassed since I last saw him.
But at the same time, it feels like it’s been 48,000 days.
