I tipped my head up to meet his gaze.
A dark and slightly sad understanding passed between us.
I tried suppressing a tremble that went down my spine, tried and failed.
Lassiter felt it, his eyes questioning.
My breath caught in my chest. I held it a moment before I said, quietly, “I’d be with him in a heartbeat if he wasn’t ...” If he wasn’t who he was.
Lassiter bit out a bitter laugh. “And I want him any way I can get him.”
A bell rang ahead of us as someone opened the diner’s door. They ducked inside. When it was just me and Lassiter, I held him back. “Last.”
My heart ached at hearing what he said.
He avoided my eyes. “It doesn’t matter. He wants you. I know you’re going to fight tooth and nail because you’re the good one of all of us, but at the end of the day”—his eyes flitted to mine—“you love him too.” He cursed before lowering his forehead to rest against mine. He hugged me to him with his one arm still around my shoulders. “Don’t feel any sort of way for me, Blake. He’s never been quiet about his obsession for you.”
“Things have changed. Recently. It wasn’t always this way.”
His laugh was soft. And sad. “Wasn’t it?”
Oh, god. That hit me deep. “Does he know how you feel?”
He stepped back, his arm falling away. “I don’t know. Knowing Creight, probably. It doesn’t matter.” The side of his mouth tipped up. “Look at us, having a moment.”
I snorted, playfully punching him in the chest. “You mean, look at you. You’re not being an asshole for once.”
“Yeah. Well.” He reached for a packet of cigarettes and took one out. He held it up. “Go on in. I need a smoke.”
“You’re going to join us?”
He held my gaze, and I saw it then. He wasn’t. He was going to leave, and who knew when I’d see him again.
I didn’t know why he decided to walk with me tonight. It was out of the norm for him, and now that I’d said what I said, now that I addressed some of the awkward undertones, he was going to cut and run.
I said, “I’ve missed you.”
He tipped his head back, his grin transforming into a smirk. He masked everything else inside of him. “Don’t be such a fucking stranger then, hmmm?” He nodded behind us to the diner. “It’s like Levi lost a nut, the way he’s been going on about not being able to see you. The whole agreement you have with Creight fucks the rest of us as well. You want us to stay away too?”
I pffted at his words. “You’re the one who usually stays away. Not me. And besides, it doesn’t seem to matter anymore.”
“Do Levi a favor? Let him be around you. He’s one of Creight’s, but you’re his sister. He’s like a giant teddy bear without his stuffing when he can’t see you. It’s weird to see. Pathetic.”
“I don’t think you need to worry about that. That boundary’s been blown tonight.”
There was another shriek from inside. I grinned, recognizing Palma.
“Get in there. I’ll stay put for a bit before heading back.”
It felt like there was more to say, but my head had exploded from everything that happened tonight. With my two worlds combining in a big way. With my fight with Creighton. With the feel of being in his arms—with this very rare gift I just got with Lassiter.
I kept trying to keep all the different parts of my lives separate and in their own lanes. I was trying to control everything, but I couldn’t. Ikepttrying to control everything. Maybe that was the problem? Maybe I should stop trying to think, trying to control, and just let life happen because at the end of the day, that’s what was going to happen anyways?
My thoughts were all muddled as I went inside, and once the door swished shut behind me, it took a second before I looked up.
I went still, oxygen freezing in my lungs.
Three masked men had guns in the air. The rest of my group was on the floor. I skimmed over everybody, taking in what I could. Marshall and Heath had their arms around Palma, who was silently crying.
