He flashed me a smile. ‘Thanks. But next to him, I may as well have been Gomez Addams.’
I snorted. ‘I doubt that.’
‘It’s true. But I couldn’t even resent him for it because he was just as nice a guy on the inside. Kind, funny, empathetic. He cared about people, I meanreallycared. That’s why he made such a good cop. He saw the person behind the crime. Didn’t just automatically write people off. He tried to help them.’
‘Sounds like a nice guy. I can understand why you two were such close friends.’
‘He fell for Hannah, big time, and of course, she fell madly in love with him. They were perfect for each other, and I was genuinely happy for them. They had a whirlwind romance, moved in together after only a few months. Bought their first house a year later. They were happy.Reallyhappy. I thought maybe it would change our friendship, but it didn’t. They never once treated me like I was a third wheel, even though I felt like I was, and I was grateful for that. I mean, I ate dinner at their place more than I did at my own, and that’s not an exaggeration. They were like family to me.’
‘What happened to him?’ I asked gently, after he’d been silently lost in his memories for a minute or two.
‘He was killed on duty. We were on a night shift together and dispatch sent us to check out reports of a burglar breaking into a commercial building. When we got there, he went one way around the building, and I went the other way. I never even heard him scream, just came around a corner and saw him on the ground being stabbed, over and over and over. I can still hear the sound.’
He buried his face in his hands, his voice breaking. Seeing and hearing him in so much pain, my heart broke for him.
‘The perp must have surprised him,’ he continued. ‘Because he didn’t even have time to draw his gun. He never had the chance to defend himself.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ I said, even though it sounded incredibly inadequate.
‘I yelled out, ran towards them, but, the guy, he didn’t turn and bolt like I expected him to. Instead he started running towards me, holding the knife above his head. I had seconds, if that, to react, although it felt like an eternity. Like everything was moving in slow motion. I’ve replayed it, so many times in my head. And the only thing I really see is the knife blade glinting in the light, Alex’s blood all over it, and his eyes. They were… vacant, that’s the only word I can think of to explain it. It was like he wasn’t even home in his own body. He wasn’t looking at us like we were people. I don’t what he was seeing, but there was no emotion in his eyes. Nothing. Just a blank stare.’
‘What did you do?’
‘The only thing I could. I shot him.’
My hands flew to my mouth. ‘Oh my God. Jack. I can’t even… That must have…’ I had no words.
‘His name was Kane Brown and we found out later he was heavily under the influence of drugs. Extensive criminal record, mainly for burglary. Nothing violent, until that night.’
‘Did he…?’
‘Die? No. I got him in the shoulder and the calf. It was enough to incapacitate him so that I could get to Alex and call for help.’
I tentatively reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. I wanted to let him know that I was there for him. He had my support.
‘He died in my arms,’ he said. ‘My best friend died in my arms, and there was nothing I could do about it. I tried to stem the bleeding but he was too badly injured. His wounds were…’ He shook his head, unable to finish the sentence. ‘I can’t unsee them. I wish I could.’
‘Oh, Jack.’
‘His dying words were about Hannah. How much he loved her. He told me to tell her he was sorry, and then he asked me to promise I would look after her. It was the least I could do. I owed it to him.’
Suddenly, it all made sense. Their connection. His protectiveness over her. Her need to keep him close. There was only one thing I couldn’t understand.
‘What do you mean, you owed it to him?’
He looked up at me with eyes swimming with pain. ‘Because it should have been me.’
‘What?’
‘Ishould have gone that way around the building. I had less to lose. He had Hannah, a whole future ahead of him. It should have been me who died.’
‘How can you say that?’
‘Because it’s how I felt, for a long time.’
I stared at him. ‘Do you think Alex would agree with you?’
He shook his head. ‘No.’
