I grow irritated that everyone has opinions on what I should be doing with Stay-see. “You think I have not offered?”
“Oh, I think you offered.” The look she gives me is far too clever. “But I do not think you are trying very hard to make her happy.”
I bare my fangs at my sister, and she bounds away a step, laughing. “You do not know what you speak of.”
“I bet I do.”
My sister is full of spice this morning, and instead of being amusing, it is irritating. “Is that so?”
She shrugs her shoulders. “I am just saying…I remember how often you and Zennek and Salukh used to speak of mates. How jealous you were when Hemalo and Asha mated, and then Maylak and Kashrem. You wanted nothing more than to have a mate of your own.” She raises a hand, gesturing ahead to where Stay-see plods behind Shorshie and Vektal. “There she is. Your mate. And ever since you woke up, you have stayed away.”
“She has stayed away from me!”
“And your feet do not work?”
I growl low in my throat, growing angry. “I have been unwell?—”
“Not so unwell you were not the first to volunteer to go with Vektal,” she points out. “And you seem to be fine now, except for your memory.”
“Stay-see does not wish me near.”
“Of course she does. She is emotional. All of the humans are. Plus, she nearly lost you. And she has a small kit to think about.There has been much for her to worry over, and yet I see her alone constantly.”
My sister’s words shame me. Does she not understand that both Stay-see and I do not know how to go forward? “I do not know how to speak to her. I do not remember how we were, as mates. I look at her, and I remember nothing.” It makes my chest ache just to think about it. “She is disappointed.”
“She would be far more disappointed if you were dead,” Farli says sharply. She bats at my arm. “Go talk to her.”
I tried earlier and she grew upset. “She does not want to speak.”
“You are not trying.”
Have I not? “It is a…strange situation.”
“And you make it worse! You do not talk to her!”
“I am trying.”
“Try harder.”
Why is my young sister lecturing me on my relationship? What does she know of these things? “Leave it be, Farli.”
She throws up her hands in a gesture that makes her seem very human, and storms away, the dvisti dancing at her heels.
My sister. I snort to myself. What does she know of mates anyhow? She is yet too young to even think of such things.
Everyone travelswith speed and determination early in the day. By midday, when we stop for a break and a meal, several groups are straggling behind. Some of the heavier sleds are re-packed and their goods redistributed amongst others, and thesled I am carrying nearly doubles in size because Kemli and Borran are growing tired and I do not wish them to struggle. By the time everyone begins to walk again, the enthusiasm is gone. Now, everyone is just tired. Now, the true hardship begins.
I hear a human female crying, complaining about exhaustion. Her mate soothes her, and her tears are quickly silenced. No fire is made, so meat is eaten raw. Some cry over that, too. I watch Stay-see but she does not seem to have much of an appetite. She feeds her son, lingers near Jo-see and Shorshie, and then gets to her feet, stretching.
I watch her as she stands. She does not move like a sa-khui female does. Her movements do not have a hunter’s grace. Her hips are, well, they are more rounded, her teats fuller. I watch them jiggle as she flexes one arm over her head, talking to Salukh’s mate. I should not be staring at her teats. I should not.
Nor should my body be responding.
I force myself to look away. If I am to admire her body, I should remember it, should I not?
“Time to go again,” Vektal calls out, moving toward his sled. “Make ready!”
Stay-see shrugs on her carrier, adjusting the straps over her shoulders. She tugs her cloak on tighter and begins to walk, but her steps are slower than before. I hesitate, then abandon my sled, jogging to her side. “Ho,” I call. “Stay-see, wait.”
