I glance over at the fire again. Stay-see is gone, along with her friend.
Perhaps it is for the best. My mood is dark and I would just make her weep again.
Hassenand one of the yellow-haired human females return to the tribe that afternoon, speaking of a strange encampment in a new canyon. The area they describe is deep in metlak territory, which worries me, but it is large enough to house all of my people. I watch my chief as I eat my watery soup around the fire with the others. I have seen the worry on Vektal’s face, and I know we are in danger. The cold tang of the brutal season is in the air, and we are in the open, in tents. The humans look frail and wear many furs, and they will not be able to withstand the chill of the brutal season. They must be protected.
Some are excited at the prospect of a new encampment, though I think we all worry that it is not protected like our cave. We gather near the fire, waiting for our chief to tell us what will happen. I glance over at Stay-see as I eat, but she is pointedly ignoring me, her focus on the kit in her arms. She lifts one side of her tunic and tucks him underneath to nurse, and I find myself curious what she looks like without her leathers.
Why do I not remember even that?
Vektal gets to his feet, gazing into the bonfire. The tribe hushes, the evening growing still. Everyone watches him, waiting.
“This has been a difficult time for us,” he begins, voice grave. “Never have our people been cast out from their home by an earth-shake. We have lost everything we owned, our memories there, and even some of our tribesmates.” He looks over at Warrek, whose eyes shine with tears. “Since that day, we have been searching for a new home. But the South Caves are gone. The Elders’ Cave is unfit to live in. And Taushen, Raahosh, and Leezh have said that the great salt water is too high and covering the caves. We are low on options. We can split up for the brutal season and each family take a hunter cave.”
I tense at the thought. Would I go with my father and mother, or would I go with Stay-see, who does not look at me? Who cries whenever I am near? The thought is worrying. I will care for her and the kit, of course, but I do not know how she will feel, and the brutal season is long.
“I have thought about this,” Vektal continues, “And I do not feel it is the right way to go. We are strongest when we are together, and therefore, we must stay together. All of us. One kill can feed many mouths, and we ensure that all will be fed through the brutal season when we have many hunters to provide for the tribe. So, I will take two of my fastest hunters with me and we shall investigate Hassen’s new place. We will make sure it is safe to bring our families to such a place, and then we will all go together. It will not be an easy journey, but if it is as safe and peaceful as it sounds, it will be a good place to stay.”
A low murmur sweeps through the tribe. I see several people nodding approval. I agree. The thought of spending the brutal season split apart from each other is a lonely one. Our tribe is close-knit. There is no way we would do well spread apart.
Raahosh speaks up. “It is a good plan. Let me go with you, my chief, to investigate this new place.”
Vektal nods. “Hassen will guide us. It took him several days to journey there with Mah-dee, but with fast hunters, we can run for very long distances without tiring, and make it there and back quickly. I would like for Harrec to go, as well. He is swift on his feet.”
Eh? Harrec? I am twice as fast as he is. I jump up. “I wish to go, my chief. I am fast. You know I am.” I also need to prove myself once more—not just to my tribe, but to my own mind. That I am not as broken as everyone thinks I am. Also, I want time away from Stay-see and her sad, accusing looks. I do not say this aloud, though.
It grows silent once more.
Vektal crosses his arms, frowning at me. “You are newly healed, Pashov.”
“I feel fine.” I do not look over at Stay-see. I cannot. But I must do something. I am restless and unhappy around camp. “Let Maylak put her hands on me. She will see I am well.”
Vektal gazes at me for a long moment, and then shakes his head. “You will stay. If the healer says you are well enough, you can hunt for the tribe.”
I sit down again, frustrated.
At my side, Salukh nudges me. “Give yourself time, my brother. We will all be going there soon enough.”
He is right. I do not like it, but he is right. I nod.
“We will leave in the morning,” Vektal says. “Until then, pack everything you can. We will need sleds to carry our gear and for the pregnant females to ride upon when they get tired. Makeno mistake, it will be a difficult journey, but I think we will find our home at the end of it.”
Vektal’s human mate breaks into a smile, showing her square white teeth. It makes me think of my human mate. I glance over at Stay-see. She is not smiling. Her gaze meets mine, and she stares at me long and hard, and then looks away.
It is almost like she knows I wanted to escape, and it fills me with guilt.
2
STACY
Ten Days Later
Of all days to be fussy, my little Pacy picked today. Moving day.
He’s normally so good. He loves to hang out in his papoose, he naps like a pro, and when it’s feeding time, he’s not picky. He’s a good baby. He really is. But he is a baby, and he’s prone to the occasional fit…and he seems to want to have one right now. He screams in my ear, banging a fist against my jaw as I hold him. Right now? He doesn’t want to eat. He doesn’t want to nap. He wants to crawl around and explore, but it isn’t the time. Everyone’s packing the last of their gear on sleds as we prepare to leave.
The hunting party checked out the new city, found it a good place to live, and have returned. So now, it’s time to go. Everything’s being trundled up and we set off today.
I’m trying to pack my tent while holding my child. My screamy, screamy child. And I love the little bugger with a fierceness and intensity, but right now, I wish someone would walk a little closer so I could pass him off. My sled is tiny compared to some of the others. Kemli and Borran are helping Farli pack, arguing if they can squeeze more furs onto their already laden sled. Georgie and Maylak are talking nearby and juggling their own kits while their mates prep their sleds. Two of the hunters are butchering a carcass as a last-minute meal, and in the distance, I see Raahosh hastily putting together another sled because, even though we’re homeless, we already have too much crap. Ironic, that.
