“I’m so sorry, Eden,” he whispered. “I wish I could have saved you from all of that.”
He could have. If he’d just stayed, just spoken to her before he ran away to the army, she would have told him that she didn’t care about her dowry. She hadn’t cared about anything but him. She would have run away to Gretna Green with him if he’d only asked. She’d have gladly been a soldier’s wife.
But there was no point in saying any of that. The past was the past. They couldn’t change it.
“What about you?” she asked hoarsely. “Didn’t you ever want to marry and have children?”
“The life of a soldier is not really conducive to a family,” he said with a sigh. “I don’t think children were ever in the cards for me, Eden.”
He didn’t want children. Of course, he didn’t. As he said, his life would not really allow for a stable family life. His life was in Egypt, Greece, or Turkey. Wherever there were discoveries to be made. Disappointment flared within her, even though she told herself it was stupid. What had she expected? That he’d spend a few days with her and suddenly decide to give all this up and return with her to England?
Besides, she’d long ago accepted the fact that she’d never be a mother. She had her studies and now this expedition. It had to be enough. She was determined to live in the moment and just enjoy the time they had together.
They spoke long into the night. The more they shared, the less alone she felt. How had she survived without him? She couldn’t believe her father had denied her this, that he’d thought that it was better to spend the best years of her life with a man who hadn’t cared about her at all.
The first rays of dawn found them still cuddled on the narrow bunk. The storm had spent its rage, leaving behind a calm, unbroken sea. Max had finally drifted off to sleep, and Eden gazed at him as he dozed fitfully, snuggled up against him. His face was softened by sleep, and her heart swelled with tenderness.
Egypt waited for her, vast and unknowable, but in this moment, the reawakening of an old and complicated bond occupied her thoughts.
And for the first time in as long as she could remember, Eden wondered if there was a possibility that she and Max could somehow find their way back to each other.
Chapter Nine
When Max awoke the next morning, he was alone in his narrow bunk. He turned his head toward the empty pillow beside him, sighing with disappointment. He’d hoped Eden would stay with him all night, but of course, she’d had to go. She’d probably wanted to check on Mrs. Carlisle, and even though she was a widow, it wouldn’t be wise to be seen leaving his cabin in the morning.
Still... It had been nice to have fallen asleep beside her.
He reached out and plucked a lone flame-red strand of hair from the pillowcase, smiling a bit as he wound it around his thumb. The last thing he’d expected was for her to find her way to him last night. And he wasn’t quite certain how to feel about the fact that she had. He’d meant to keep her at arm’s length during this entire trip, but it had felt good to know that when she’d been afraid, he was the one she’d turned to.
With a sigh, he pushed out of bed and performed his ablutions, his thoughts still scattered. He couldn’t afford to be distracted.
But even as the thought crossed his mind, he left the room and hurried to the dining room, hoping he’d find her there.
Sunlight streamed through the portholes, the day remarkably calm and sunny after the chaos of the night. As he approached the dining room, he heard the clatter of silverware and the low murmuring of the other passengers. Everyoneseemed in a boisterous mood, probably relieved to have made it through the storm.
His gaze was immediately drawn to Eden, who sat on the far side of the room from the door where he’d entered. She looked neat as a pin in a dark blue travel suit, serene as she sipped her tea and stared out the window. He swallowed drily and crossed over to her.
“May I sit with you?” he asked.
She smiled at him and gestured toward the empty chair. “Of course.”
He sat down across from her and when an attentive waiter immediately approached them, he ordered some tea and a hearty breakfast. Once they were alone again, he leaned back in his chair and folded his hands across his stomach. “How are you this morning?”
“Much better, now that the seas are calm.” She lowered her voice. “I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye, but I wanted to check on Mrs. Carlisle.”
