“He didn’t show up alone.”
Klarissa’s eyes bucked. “He didn’t show up with another man, did he?”
I blinked, taken aback by the suggestion. “Girl, what? No. A female.”
“I’m just saying… it’s happening these days. And that’s the perfect getaway to drop a soft launch: him… his man… nature. Then you said he brought handsomeness with him, so I just assumed it was for both of y’all. Sharing is caring.”
I couldn’t help but giggle at her exaggerated expression. “Okay, let’snotact like Bryce isn’t fine!”
“I mean… he is, but you’re my friend, not to mention y’all were engaged. So no, ma’am, I’ll never just come right out and say that to you. Girl Code rule number five:Thou shall not lust after thy friend’s ex unless he hits the lottery, goes platinum, or suddenly becomes British with an accent.Then, we discuss boundaries.”
I shook my head, laughing heartily. “What am I gonna do with you? But I appreciate your loyalty, boo. But yeah… he brought a female here with him.”
“Oh my. Say it isn’t so.”
“It’s so.”
“Well, what she look like?”
I exhaled slowly, trying to gather my thoughts. “She’s pretty; I’ll give her that. But she has a body that clearly screams investment and full-time industry appeal.”
“Oh… he got one of them, huh?”
“Yup. But her intelligence? I wouldn’t trust her to find water if she fell out of a boat. Hell, she’d probably lose a hide-and-seek gamealone.”
Klarissa cackled. “That’s usually how it goes. They get the ones that look good in pictures but can’t spell ‘there’ right in captions.”
I laughed too hard, the absurdity of it all hitting me. “Exactly!”
“Well, how serious is it between them?”
“Based on how he talked to her? You’d think she was one of his baby mamas that he hated but had to bring her on the trip to get off child support.”
“Damn. That bad, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“So what did he say about your lil’ friend?”
I couldn't keep the smile from my face as I recounted the moment.
“Let’s just say, if I didn’t walk into the kitchen when I did, Adrian probably would’ve ended up on a milk carton by morning.”
“Not missing, though!” Klarissa hollered.
“Girl, you know Bryce lives for this wildlife adventure stuff. If he ain’t flying planes, he’s hiking mountains, building fires with his bare hands, or wrestling raccoons for fun. I ain’t saying he’s killed a human before, but if the bear don’t get you, his ‘I wish a nigga would’ energy just might.”
Klarissa let out a sharp laugh. “Girl, you a fool! And you say I’m the funny friend.”
“Out of the both of us, you’re definitely the funniest. If stress had a stand-up set, it would sound like you!”
"Mmm… maybe you’re right,” she said with mock pride, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I wonder if they give out checks for comedic trauma responses? Girl, I’d be hilarious then. I could probably retire by thirty-five.”
I cracked a small smile but wrapped my arms tighter around myself, hoping that the goosebumps that ran up my arms didn’t start singing gospel anytime soon.
“But other than that,” she continued, her voice now sliding into big sister mode, “have y’all talked? Like… actually talked? And how long does he plan on staying? ‘Cause this whole ‘oops I showed up with new muscles, a duffle bag and an Instagram baddie’ energy sound real strategic.”
“All of this literally just went down right before I called you. So no, we haven’t ‘talked, talked’. But they’re supposed to be leaving in the morning.”
