‘I know, it’s fine. Take no notice of that one,’ Beryl said quietly, patting Vee’s arm. ‘Let’s concentrate on eating her fishy stuff. Personally, I’d rather have a nice piece of cod, butwhen in Rome, as they say.’
Simone served up her paella with panache, and Beryl had to admit to herself that it did look very impressive. There were prawns, large and luscious, mussels peeping out of their shells, chunks of something that might be squid, she guessed, and all manner of other kinds of seafood, plus chicken and what looked like slivers of chorizo all nestling on a bed of perfectly cooked yellowy-orange rice. Give the woman her due, she could cook.
Their hostess was generous with the wine too, and carafe after carafe appeared before the last was even empty. Beryl could see that Winnie’s eyes were beginning to glaze over and she was leaning towards Sid as if she might fall asleep on his shoulder, whereas Sid and Maurice were getting more verbose by the minute. Vee had hardly touched her wine. She hadn’t eaten much either and although Rick had seemed to thoroughly enjoy his paella, he hadn’t refilled his glass as often as the others. As for Anthea, she looked as cool and elegant as ever, sipping slowly and eating daintily. Beryl herself had stopped drinking after three glasses, changing over to water. She had no desire to make a fool of herself.
They were just stacking their paella plates tidily, ready to ferry the crockery indoors when Simone emerged from the kitchen bearing two more carafes of wine. Seeing her, Sid leapt to his feet so suddenly that his chair toppled over.
‘A toast to our wonderful hostess,’ he cried. ‘Simone, come over here and let us raise our glasses to you. That was a splendid meal!’
Clearly overwhelmed with gratitude, Sid raised his glass so high that he overbalanced and staggered backwards, falling over his chair which still lay on the ground. For a couple of seconds, he teetered on the edge of the pool and then before anyone could cry out a warning, let alone reach him, he plunged straight into the deep end, hurling his wine glass into the air. It landed in the pool with a splash, just after Sid hit the water.
‘Oh, dear Lord!’ shouted Winnie, as they all stood up and moved together, a wave of anxious bodies hurrying across the short distance to the water. ‘He can’t swim, the daft bugger.’
By now Sid had come up for air and was opening his mouth to yell. His eyes were panic-stricken. Rick fell to his knees, reaching out to Sid, and their hands were almost touching. ‘Nearly got him,’ said Rick, leaning further. ‘He’s okay. If someone will just hang on to my belt, I can…’
‘I never allow real glass at the poolside,’ said Simone, glaring at Sid. ‘My guests should have the common sense to use plastic tumblers if they’re going to fall in. Can somebody please fish the man out? And his glass,’ she added.
Beryl was about to remonstrate that she didn’t suppose Sid had meant to keel over into the pool when the ample figure of Winnie hurtled past them all. She kicked off her gold sandals and flung herself into the water. ‘I’ve got you, Sid, you silly sod. You’re safe,’ she spluttered, treading water and grabbing him by the collar of his now sodden shirt.
Sid gasped and coughed as Winnie towed him to the side, and Rick and Frank hauled him out, taking an armpit each and very nearly joining him in the water in the process. Soon Sid was lying on the tiles looking extremely sheepish, with water flowing from his clothes. His hair was plastered to his head, revealing a large bald patch, and his trousers had ridden up at the ankles, showing a pair of very flashy red socks.
‘I’m so sorry, Simone,’ he managed to wheeze. ‘I got a bit…’
‘Drunk?’ suggested Beryl under her breath but Vee nudged her, and she closed her mouth with a snap. What a start to their visit here. She was just glad Yolanda hadn’t witnessed the embarrassing spectacle.
By now, Rick had found a large net that Simone kept by the pool, possibly for such disasters, and was fishing out Sid’s floating wine glass.
‘No harm done, fortunately,’ said Simone, graciously. ‘I must admit to always getting a little overexcited when I visit a new place, myself. Take yourself into the poolside changing room over there for a shower.’ She gestured expansively. ‘And perhaps one of your kind friends will fetch a towel and some spare clothes.’
‘I’ll go,’ said Rick, setting off at a trot into the house. ‘Beryl, could you find something for Winnie to change into?’
‘You should both go and get in that hot shower, before you catch your death,’ said Beryl, doing as Rick suggested and heading for Winnie’s room.
‘They’re hardly likely to do that on a warm night like this,’ said Frank. ‘But the ladies are right. Off you go, chaps. No harm done.’
Sid and Winnie sloshed their way around the pool and disappeared into a room under the eaves on the far side. The remaining members of the party looked at each other, at a loss for what to do next. There was a long pause as they waited for Rick and Beryl to return.
‘Dessert,’ called Simone, now back in the kitchen. ‘Who’s for a slice of my pudding?’
‘Nowthat’sa leading question,’ Beryl said to Rick as they emerged from the house.
Rick shushed her with a finger to his lips. ‘Behave, Beryl,’ he said quietly. He raised his voice. ‘What’s your pudding, Simone?’ he called.
‘Paris Brest,’ she replied.
That did it. Beryl started to chuckle, and seeing her becoming almost helpless with mirth, the others joined in, one by one.
‘Why are you all laughing?’ Simone said, coming outside with a magnificent choux pastry dessert on a plate. ‘This is my signature dish. It’s famous throughout France. Delicious rings of light pastry filled with cream and praline. Oh, I see.’ Light dawned as she glanced down at her own mountainous cleavage, only just covered by the plunging neckline of her dress. ‘It’s not that kind of breast. You British are so literal.’
Winnie was waiting outside the shower room and gratefully took the bundle of clothes that Beryl handed over. ‘I fetched you a clean robe and so on and I went in to help Rick get something for Sid because I could hear him opening and shutting drawers as if he couldn’t find anything. Typical man,’ Beryl said. ‘I just brought Sid’s towelling dressing gown and slippers in the end. We won’t mind if he doesn’t get properly dressed, will we?’
The others all shook their heads and Beryl continued. ‘You wouldn’t believe the state of his underwear. You single men are awful… he needs someone to revamp his style.’
Wordlessly, the others watched as Winnie headed into the shower room. They heard her call, ‘Only me, no need to cover up.’ The shower stopped running and silence fell.
Beryl was the first to rally. ‘Well, this Brest thing looks scrumptious,’ she said. ‘After all that excitement, I’m quite peckish again. Let’s get stuck in.’
Simone served generous portions to them all, being careful to leave enough for Winnie and Sid. ‘They’re being a very long time in there, aren’t they?’ she said, casting a suspicious glance over towards the changing room. Just as she spoke, the two in question emerged. Beryl grinned to herself as she saw that Sid was being very careful to walk on the side away from the water. She also noticed something else. Winnie and Sid were holding hands.
