So I stand there and say nothing as I look at him, like a coward.
Pain flashes in his eyes. “Kendall, are you honestly saying that you can’t ever picture a future with me?”
I swallow back the lump in my throat. “I…I don’t know…”
I trail off when I see the tears shining in his eyes. My chest aches like it’s about to crack in half.
I hate hurting him like this. I hate it so much.
He frowns, the pain in his eyes as clear as their beautiful blue shade. “You don’t even want to try to give us a chance?”
“I can’t, Liam. What if we move in together and it doesn’t work out? Then my aunt and I would be on the street.”
He leans back, like I’ve shoved him. “You really think I’d do that to you? You think I’d do that to your aunt?”
“Breakups are messy, Liam. We all ending up saying and doing things we never thought we’d do.”
A hard swallow moves down his throat. “I’m not like your ex, Kendall. I’d never do that to you. No matter what happens between us, I’d never mistreat you. I’d rather hurt myself than hurt you.”
When I blink, hot tears fall down my cheeks. I want to believe him.
I let go of his hand. “Look, maybe we should take some time apart.”
He stumbles back. “You don’t want to see me anymore?”
“I just need some time to myself, Liam. To think about things. You threw a lot at me just now.”
He’s quiet for a long moment. “Okay. If that’s what you want.” His voice is weak and broken.
We walk the few blocks back to his place in silence. I gather my things. He walks into the guest bedroom, probably to give me some privacy. As I make my way to the door, I wonder if I should go back and say good-bye, but I talk myself out of it. What good would that do? I’ve already broken his heart. Nothing I could say now would make this better.
When I get to my car, I toss my things in the passenger seat and drive home. The whole time, I’m in a haze, my head foggy, wondering what I’m supposed to do now.
Chapter 46
Liam
Coach Miller blows his whistle, signaling the end of practice.
I skid to a halt on the ice and breathe hard as I catch my breath.
“Good effort, gentlemen,” he says. “Especially you, Scott. Way to hustle. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you move that hard or that fast before.”
I tell him thanks, then follow my teammates as they head to the locker room.
Even as my breathing evens out and my heart rate slows, the pain in my chest lingers.
It’s been there ever since Kendall asked for some time apart a week ago.
Every time I breathe, it feels like my ribcage is on the verge of splitting in half.
God, I miss her. I miss waking up with her in my arms. I miss cuddling with her on my couch. I miss seeing her eyes light up when she smiles. I miss hearing her laugh. I miss the way she smells. I miss her taste.
I swallow back the lump in my throat.
I’ve dated and ended relationships in the past. I always felt sad, but I’ve never felt like this.
Like it hurt to breathe. Like my heart feels like it’s been ripped into a thousand pieces.
