I wish I was never born.
The funny thing is that even if you don’t want to be alive, you don’t necessarily want to kill yourself. It’s like walking down the street and wishing a car would veer off the road and run you over. You don’t jump into the path of the car. You don’t put yourself in harm’s way. You simply exist, wishing not to.
When the zombies finally settle, I pull on layer after layer of protective clothing, grab the axe I use to defend myself, and leave the protection of the apartment I’m occupying.
For several weeks, I’ve kept close, going to buildings and apartments nearby to search for food. Sometimes I find zombies in the apartments and I have to put them down. Typically, those places have more nonperishables, so the risk is worth it.
On the occasion I see other humans roaming, some in all black, others that look like meth-head bikers, I hide, because I know how dangerous the living can be.
After an hour of searching, all I’ve found are a few packs of airplane peanuts, which I scarf down immediately because it’s been a hot minute since I’ve had a meal.
I’ll have to go further than I’m comfortable with, which is terrifying. The city is lawless, and there’s no telling what I’ll come up against.
I stick to the shadows, moving slowly so as not to alert the zombies to my presence. The crunch of the glass under my boots sends my heart racing, but there’s little I can do to avoid it.
A cluster of bodies stand in the distance, their limbs mangled. The more time that goes by, the worse they look, but they trudge on, eager for flesh.
I should just give up. I have nothing to live for, and it’s getting harder and harder to distract myself from my reality.
I’m alone in this dead world, apart from even the living, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it.
I spot an old theater and decide it might be worth checking out because there are several floors of apartments above it, but as I walk across the street, a familiar grunt catches my attention.
I’ve been spotted.
I tighten my grip on my axe, hoping I’ll only have to contend with one or two dead, but when a group of five emerges from the alley, I know I have to run.
I won’t make it back to my apartment, but if I can get to one of the surrounding buildings, I should be able to ride out the situation.
Unfortunately, I see dead stirring up ahead.
If I stand my ground, I might get two or three before they overwhelm me. I could continue running, but it’ll be into an unknown area, which would bring with it greater risk.
I eye an alley, wondering if there could be an unseen exit. It’s dark, with trash littering the ground. There’s a fire escape, but it’s missing the bottom level, making it impossible to scale. Nestled in the corner, there’s a dumpster. The lid is down, and if I can scramble to the top, the elevation could give me an advantage.
Adrenaline propels me forward, down the alley, and up the side of the bin. Already the dead are closing in on me, mere feet away.
I take a defensive position, hacking at limbs as they grab at my ankles. There are at least ten gathered around me and another five rushing to join them.
My layers keep me safe from minor attacks, but the moment they get ahold of me, it’s game over.
A hand closes around my ankle, and I scream, falling on my backside. Hands grab my arms, hair, and jacket, dragging me to the edge.
But just as I’m pulled towards a hungry mouth, the zombie’s head splits in two.
One by one, the corpses fall, their gore painting the dumpster. I scramble to get against the brick wall, away from grabby limbs, but before I can even process what’s happening, the dead are annihilated and a lone man stands a foot away from the dumpster. Black clothes, sword in hand.
He lifts the shield of his helmet, revealing the face of my worst nightmare.
“You!” I scream, lifting my axe to strike.
He snickers, grabbing my arm and disarming me before I can even blink.
“Let me go!”
I snatch my hand away just as another rager comes, banging against the bin.
Startled, I lurch away, my legs tripping over one another, sending me crashing to the ground below.
