“Joanna lost the will to live because her lover had rejected her and Nathan. In drunken agony, she set her room on fire and waited to die.” Caden clenched his jaw.
Ava could not understand what he was saying.
“I found a letter from him the day after, half burned, saying that he wouldnae acknowledge Nathan as his own and that she would be forced to live with the shame of being a wench and having a bastard.”
The room began to tilt.
“So nay, I’m in nay way interested in caring for someone so much that I might lose sense of what is right and what is wrong.” Caden turned on his heel and unlocked the door, leaving her alone in the study.
Ava was rooted to the spot, a maelstrom of emotions tearing through her. She was not sure how long she stood there, but she knew she needed to see Nathan immediately.
That poor, sweet boy. That poor woman. What pain and sadness she must have felt. I cannae even imagine it.
Along with her confusion, Ava felt rejectedandused. Her heart hardened. She would deal with that later. Now, she needed to be with Nathan. He was the only thing in this castle that could provide her with the little comfort she needed. Her fingers itched to hold him and never let go. Protect him from a world too cruel for a sweet innocent bairn like him.
She made her way out of the study and hurried to his room. She gently pushed the door open, and light from the hallway spilled over his little bed. He lay sleeping, the dim light accentuating his cherubic features.
Ava crossed the room in a few quick steps and stopped by the bed, marveling at the little miracle.
How Joanna was so desperate that she was willing to give up on him and herself, Ava would never understand. Something else had to be at play, but she was not sure what.
She had only been the boy’s aunt for a few days, and already she loved him beyond comprehension. She could not imagine the love a mother would have for her child. It would be infinitely bigger and stronger. And if Joanna were anything like her brothers, she would have been fiercely loyal.
There was simply nothing that could ease Ava’s mind when she knew that the boy had almost died because of his mother’s actions.
“Ma, sing.” The sweetest sound came from the bed.
Ava sat next to Nathan, whose eyes were closed. She placed a hand on his head and ran her fingers through his hair. Before she could open her mouth, his breathing evened out.
“I’ll sing for ye tomorrow when we go skatin’,” she whispered.
His body relaxed as he settled back into deep sleep.
Ava watched the rise and fall of his chest and let it soothe her aching heart. Once she was sure he was asleep, she left the room, silent as a ghost.
The halls were dark, the quiet comforting. Ava ran her eyes over the walls, noticing the charred spots for the first time. It must have been terrifying for them all. What a horrible way to leave this life.
In the safety of her room, she shut the door and leaned against it, letting her tears spill over. The ancient wood was a comfort as she cried for Nathan, for Joanna, and for herself.
How Caden could carry on after such a tragedy, she did not know.
She collapsed on the bed and let out a low sob. She desperately wished to be on the farm with her animals, enjoying her freedom and reveling in nature. How wonderful it would be to show Nathan her small world.
Instead, she was trapped in a cold and dark castle, with secrets and complex feelings, being used as a plaything for her husband.
How has it come to this?
CHAPTER 19
Sunlight filteredthrough the gap in the drapes, bathing the room in a soft glow. A pounding began in Ava’s head, and her eyes felt gritty from crying the night before. She looked down to see that she had not changed out of Caden’s shirt and tartan.
She plopped back and buried her face in her pillow, trying to fall back asleep. Last night had been a mess of emotions that she would rather not relive. Sleep had started tugging at her when the creak of her door jolted her back to wakefulness.
At first, she did not hear or see anyone coming into her room. She almost assumed that a draft or a ghost had opened the door. Then came Nathan’s small voice.
“Ma?”
Her lips curled into a smile despite her headache. She lifted her head to see him peeking through the door like a little bandit on a mission.
