“Right.” He gives me the awkward flat smile. “Well, she’ll probably want dinner in a half hour, then she’ll need a bath and a story—like how I showed you the other day.” He went through a step-by-step explanation on how their bedtime routine went. It wasincredibly endearing. “I should be home by midnight, but you’ll probably be asleep by then.”
I probably won’t. I’ll probably still be writing, but he doesn’t need to know that.
“Wesley.”
“Yeah?”
“We’re good. I got this. We’re going to have an awesome time. Aren’t we, babe?” I ask Delilah, who’s still clung to me like a koala.
“Yeah!” she yells directly into my ear, and I wince.
Wes leans in to kiss Delilah’s cheek, which is dangerously close to my face. His eyes flit over to mine, trapping me in his gaze in the process. He never breaks eye contact, even when he pulls away, and says goodbye to Delilah.
I shiver, and my skin breaks out in a wave of goosebumps. I catch a hint of his cologne and have to stop the audible sigh from leaving me. He needs to not smell like anything, and this whole working for the hottest man alive thing, will be a lot easier.
That’s the closest he’s gotten to me in days, and it’s like getting a hit of a drug. I want to pretend to fall again, to see if he’ll catch me. Unfortunately I don’t have a chance, because Wesley waves to us both, leaving me to obsess over the brief encounter for the rest of the night.
————
“Iby, do you have a mommy?” Delilah asks innocently.
I’m sitting on the small carpet just outside the tub, watching as she plays in the bath.
Her question takes me by surprise, and makes my heart hurt all at once.
“No, not anymore,” I answer honestly.
“Me either.”
I stay silent for a moment, trying to think of the best response. I wasn’t really prepared to talk about something this deep with a four-year-old.
“It’s rough sometimes, huh?” I ask her, wanting her to know it’s okay to feel sad about it.
“Yeah.” She hasn’t looked up at me yet, still focusing her attention on the bubbles in the water.
“But you have a really amazing Daddy. You know that right?” I say tentatively. “I know it’s not the same as having a mommy, but you are very lucky to have the family you have. You have your Nana and Papa. You have Auntie Soph, Uncle Mav and Uncle Linc who love you like crazy.” I’m listing them off on my fingers when she finally looks up at me. “And you have me, babe. I care about you so much, sometimes I feel like my chest will explode.” I make an explosion sound effect and gesture with my hands.
Thankfully, that gets a giggle out of her.
Phew.
Let’s hope I didn’t screw that up. I’m no therapist, but I know what it’s like to lose people close to you, and I know what would make me feel better if I were in her position. To just be reminded that you’re loved.
We finish the rest of her bedtime routine, stories and all. Delilah is almost asleep, little stars from her night light dancing across her sweet little face in thedark. I tuck Burrito in tight under her arm, and kiss her head.
Shit. I hope that’s okay. Was that weird? Am I not allowed to kiss her?
“Iby.” Delilah interrupts my thinking.
“Delilah,” I whisper back.
“Do dragons live on our planet?” she whispers, barely audible.
“That would be really cool if they did.” I avoid giving any definitive answer, because I’m not a dream crusher.
“So cool,” is her soft response, immediately followed by the softest little snores.
I shake my head, stifling my laugh. I wasn’t lying, she does make me feel like my chest will explode.
