“Two years,” she mutters.
I gasp loudly for dramatic effect.“Unacceptable,” I say incredulously. “You need to be wine, dined, and sixty-nined,pronto.”
Sophie chokes on the bite she just took, and flushes bright red immediately. I watch, amused, as her entire chest and neck gets blotchy and turns a healthy shade of crimson. She splutters, and I giggle.
I have no room to talk, before Wesley it had also been over a year since I had any sex. Sophie knows it too, which is why she’s giving me the are you kidding me?look.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” I challenge. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t need an orgasm, not brought on by yourself, ” I add, quickly. “and I’ll leave it alone.”
Damn these cookies are good. I grab another, and eat half of it in one bite, narrowing my gaze on Sophie.
“Yes, of course you’re right!” she exclaims, flailing her arms.
“Huzzah!” I bask in my victory, slapping the counter. “We need to find you someone to fuck. Dating apps, out in the wild, whatever. I’ll shop around. Just one, solid, non-self orgasm, and Beau will be a thing of the past.” I smile brightly.
I don’t actually believe that, but words of encouragement and all.
“Please don’t say ‘shop around’,” She raises her fingers in the air, to quote me. “When referring to my sex life,” she says, groaning. “But thank you for helping. I’ve been really in my feelings lately, and I think you’re right. I need to just bang someone, get it out of my system, and I’ll be good to go.” She nods at her cookie, more talking to herself I think.
I clear my throat. “See? Now, what apps are you on right now?”
I scratch the side of my neck, and watch as Sophie pulls out her phone. She comes around the kitchen island, and shows me the one and only dating app she’s on. She navigates to her profile, and I scan it, reading all the preferences she chose when creating it.
I take a sip of water, and try to focus on the screen, and clear my throat again.
“Soph, it says you’re looking for a long-term relationship. We have to change that.” I take the phone, and begin adjusting her profile to fit her needs better.
“Why? That’s what I want.”
Oh my sweet, sweet Soph.
I take another sip of water, and cough.
What the hell?
“You can’t let the men know that. There, see? I put… looking for something casual. That will draw the men in. Orgasm, here you come,” I say, then snort. “Literally.”
I take a deep breath through my nose, and it feels a little off.
I think I might be getting sick.
Sophie tries to snatch her phone back, but I hold strong, editing her bio on her profile. I swallow, and it feels like it takes a bit of effort to do so.
What…No. It couldn’t.
I slowly set Sophie's phone down when the strange, but familiar feeling in my throat and mouth overtakes my senses, and my eyes widen in horror.
Sophie watches me pull the container of cookies that I didn’t try at Rose’s house over to us, and break one in half inspecting the insides.
That’s when the dots connect, and chaos ensues.
“What are you doing?” Sophie chuckles.
My phone begins ringing.
“Are these walnuts?” I croak.
“Yeah, they’re good huh?” Sophie says casually.
