Afterward, we lie tangled together in the kind of satisfied exhaustion that has nothing to do with parenting and everything to do with connection.
"That was—" I start.
"Better than last time?"
"Different than last time. Last time was reconnection. This was..." I search for the right word. "Reclamation. Taking back our intimacy, our identity as partners, our us-ness underneath the parent chaos."
"Us-ness. Very technical term."
"I'm a nurse, not a poet."
"You're both." He traces patterns on my back. "You're everything."
We drift in comfortable silence. No baby monitor. No interruptions. Just us and the promise of a full night's sleep.
"When do you want to get married?" I ask eventually.
"Whenever you want. Tomorrow. Next year. Whenever."
"Abuela will have opinions."
"Abuela already has opinions. She's been planning our wedding since Miguel told her we were having a baby."
"Of course she has." I laugh softly. "Spring? Give us six months to plan?"
"Six months is perfect. Santiago will be a year old. We'll have time to organize whatever elaborate event Izzy and Abuela are already conspiring about."
"It's going to be chaos."
"Everything with us is chaos. Might as well embrace it."
"Fair point."
My phone buzzes on the nightstand. Text from Izzy:
IZZY:He's perfect. Sleeping like an angel. You two better be making good use of this time. Also, you're welcome. Also, I expect to be best woman at this wedding. xo
I show Zane the text. He laughs.
"Best woman. She's already assigned herself a role."
"Would you expect anything less?"
"No. It's very her."
I set the phone aside, settle back against him. "This is nice. The quiet. The privacy. The not having to be 'on' every second."
"We should do this more often. Ask Izzy to kidnap Santiago occasionally so we can remember we're humans."
"She'd love that. Give her more godmother responsibilities to obsess over."
"Everyone wins."
We lie there in the dark, and I think about tomorrow—when Santiago comes home and the chaos resumes and we go back to being exhausted parents. But tonight, we have this. This moment of peace and connection and promise.
"I can't wait to marry you," Zane says quietly.
"Even though I'm complicated and stubborn and try to save everyone?"
