She sets the paper down and leans on the table until we’re eye to eye. We’ve done life long enough that she knows when my legs are still under me and when they aren’t. “Do you want to go?” she asks. No teasing or gushing. Just the question.
“Yes,” I reply, because I’m not the kind of liar who pretends curiosity isn’t driving the bus. “And no.” I rub my thumb and forefinger together; the skin’s rough where I scrubbed turpentine off last night. “I want answers. He said immersion. He wants me in a hallway he can name. I want toknow what he’s naming. And I want to be the one who walks in, not the one who gets carried.”
“So we make demands,” she responds. “We bring me. We write ownership into anything you make while you’re there. We make them promise on paper they won’t blast your face on their socials. We make them sayartist’s autonomywith their teeth showing.”
“He won’t like it,” I say, picturing the way Cassian’s mouth looked when I said leash and he said lifeline and we both meant different things and the same thing.
“He doesn’t get to like it,” she says. “He gets to agree if he wants you there. You are not a teenager with a scholarship you’re scared to lose. You are the thing everyone is orbiting this month. Use the gravity.” She picks up the invitation again, reads down to the line about the car. “Also, we’re not taking a car alone with his driver if I’m not inside it too. I will wedge myself across the door like a bouncer.”
The corner of my mouth tips despite myself. “You’ll scuff your shoes.”
“For you, I’ll scuff my shoes,” she says solemnly, then ruins it by adding, “They’re fake anyway.”
“Jonah would have told me this is a bad idea and then offered to paint the car,” I say before my brain decides to keep the sentence.
Lila’s eyes flick. “He texted meout of townand a gif of a raccoon stealing a hot dog,” she says. “I assumed that was code forbeing paid to do something stupid.He didn’t answer my follow-up. I can find out where he is, if you want me to step on some toes.”
“Don’t,” I say, too fast. “I mean—do—but gently. He’s not at risk. He’s just…” I trail off because the rest of the sentence isa variable someone moved on a board I didn’t know I was on,and I promised myself I wouldn’t give Cassian that much credit out loud.
“Quiet,” she finishes. “It’s creeping me out too. I’ll poke. Softly. With a noodle.”
“You and your noodles,” I say, grateful for the shift.
“Don’t distract,” she says. “We’re writing an email.”
“I haven’t said yes,” I say.
“You haven’t said no,” she counters. “And you hate not deciding more than you hate consequences.” She’s not wrong. She pushes my laptop toward me, flips it nice-side-up, and taps the trackpad until the screen flares to life with the press page I couldn’t get past at three in the morning. “Word it how you want. But write it now before you start sanding your own edges off to survive the day.”
I set the invitation beside the laptop, fingers on the keys without touching them. The empty email window blinks like a patient heartbeat on a monitor. Subject line:Re: Artist Residency Pilot — Acceptance & Conditions.My stomach does the small contraction again. Lila reaches over without looking at the screen and squeezes my forearm once like she’s closing a clamp to stop a bleed.
I type:
To:[email protected]; [email protected]
Subject:Re: Artist Residency Pilot — Acceptance & Conditions
Dear Ms. Patel and Ward Foundation team,
Thank you for the invitation to participate in the Artist Residency Pilot and for the clarity of the attached terms. I am prepared to accept in principle, subject to confirmation of the following conditions, which are important to me for both safety and autonomy:
I will be accompanied by my own assistant (Lila Gomez) on any site visit/tour; her presence is non negotiable. She will sign any necessary NDA.
Any work (sketches, notes, studies) created by me during the residency remains my sole property; the Foundation receives no ownership interest.
The “safety review” process will not be used to delay or cancel exhibitions absent a clearly articulated, time-bound risk defined in writing and agreed upon jointly.
