“What is this place?” I whisper.
He doesn’t answer right away. He lets me walk to the first room and decide what I think before he offers me words to replace it. Behind the glass, three people sit at easels with their backs to me, all different hair and ages and posture. A woman in a slate-blue sweater stands between them like a conductor without a baton, talking softly to the man at the left easel while the other two keep painting. On the back wall is a row of shelves with supplies lined up like offerings—jars of brushes, stacks of heavy paper, tubes of acrylic sorted by color. I recognize the brand. I used those same tubes when I was seventeen because a foster mother thought buying me art supplies meant she was good.
Next door is a room with water and herbs. Basil, mint, and flat-leaf parsley. A hydroponic rig I only know from a science museum field trip somebody took us on when I was fourteen. Two boys stand there with their sleeves rolled and their hands in the green like it’s dirt; one of them is explaining something tothe other about a timer, tank, and the cycle of light and dark. He looks twelve until he looks up, and then he’s old in a way I don’t know how to describe except to say that some ages never fit the faces they have to wear.
We keep walking. There’s a music room with glass double doors, soundproofed enough that I only hear the cello when the woman inside leans into the bow and digs for a lower note. For a second I think it’s recorded because it’s too perfect. Then she stops, shakes out her hand, and laughs when the man sitting cross-legged on the rug in front of her claps once like a child.
There’s a therapy room with two chairs and a knitted blanket folded over the back of one like a promise someone intends to keep. A room that looks like a meditation space except the first thing I notice is that the floor has a slope at the edges and the walls are padded under the plaster. Candles sit unlit on a shelf. The air is cooler there. I can imagine the way it would feel to press my forehead to the wall and breathe.
“What did you expect?” he asks quietly, and his voice doesn’t echo here. Nothing echoes here unless you want it to.
“Cells,” I say before I can stop myself. “Guards. Some… performance of control so obvious I’d want to smash glass and run.”
He nods like that makes sense. “There are locks,” he says. “But we try not to make the walls into the point.”
We pass a door without glass and he stops. On the other side is the faint sound of water. He keys the panel and the door opens to a tiled room with drains and benches, nothing harsh. On a chair sits a young woman with a white bandage around her forearm, hair dripping into a towel. She looks up when she hears us. Fear flashes so fast through her eyes that if I blinked I would have missed it. She sits straighter when she sees him. Her mouth trembles and then steadies.
“Morning, Sol,” he says, kneeling a little so he doesn’t loom. He rests his forearm on his thigh, so his hands aren’t hanging between them like weapons. Gentle details I would not have noticed if someone hadn’t knelt in front of me in a bathroom once and taught me to breathe.
“Morning,” she whispers.
“How’s the arm?” he asks.
“Like a stupid thing I did,” she says, not looking at the bandage.
“It looks like healing,” he says. “You did a brave thing afterward. You asked for help.”
She shrugs, and the shoulder under the towel is all angles. “I broke,” she says.
“Or you bent,” he corrects. “Hard to tell the difference until after.”
She glances at me then, quick, curious. He tips his head toward me. “This is Aurora,” he says. “She’s an artist. She’s here to learn how we make the place stay standing.”
Sol’s gaze flickers down to my shirt. His shirt on my body. I flush and then hate that I do.
“Hi,” I say softly.
“Hi,” she says. She points with her chin at the towel. “It’s better in here,” she adds, like she needs to offer me something in return for seeing her like this.
“Good,” I say, because I don’t have anything better.
“Zoe’s waiting to change the dressing,” he says to Sol. “Do you want me to send her in, or do you want to go out there?”
“Here,” she says quickly. “Please.”
“I’ll send her,” he says. “You can leave the towel on. She doesn’t need heroics.”
Sol huffs something that might be a laugh. The corner of her mouth lifts. “Okay.”
He stands and we step back into the hall. He doesn’t look at me while he texts, and neither do I. It feels like the kind of holy you don’t speak in. When we start walking again, I can feel the shape of what just happened more than I can explain it: he bent his whole body, so he didn’t look like a threat, and the room bent around him to match.
We stop at another door. It looks like a closet but inside is a room I know instantly is his because it smells like him.
“This is where I go when it’s too much,” he says, and the way he says it makes my throat hurt, which is ridiculous because I am not the one carrying a network in my chest like a second heart.
“How often is it too much?” I ask.
“Daily,” he says simply. “Sometimes hourly. Sometimes in the middle of a conversation in a hallway where I’m supposed to look like I can fix things before lunch.”
