“Why can’t it be from you?”
“That’s just not me.”
“You rather lose me?”
“Bethany, I’m not losing you. I’m letting you get away.”
“And you’re willing to live with that?”
“I’ve lived with worse. I mourned the death of the man I was before taking this title. Any hope for saving my soul was lost. But in becoming the man I am now, some losses were worth the grief. Maybe you’ll learn that lesson one day. We both know this isn’t going to work.”
“But what if it does? It is not worth finding out?” I plead. “Am I not worth it?”
Letting out a deep breath, “I never said that.”
“Then what are you saying?” When he wouldn’t answer, I kept pushing. “Well. Am I nothing to you?”
“I’ll wait in the car for you,” he replied, walking out.
I am stomping behind him. “Answer me. Emilio!”
“WHAT!?” He angrily turned around and shouted. I’ve never seen him lose his cool before. “What do you want from me? You knew from the start what this would be… what this could only be.”
“I love you,” I said aloud, thinking I’d regret it, but I didn’t.
He didn’t want to hear it, but I had to put it out there. He had to know. Part of me hoped it was enough for him to change his mind.
“No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do.”
“You don’t know me, Bethany.”
“How can you say that?”
“You know one version of me. One.”
I place my hands on my hip. “You’re being ridiculous. Just making things up to change my mind, but you can’t.”
“I’m not trying to change your mind. You know one side of me.”
“And it’s the most personal side of you. That has to mean something.”
Emilio shook his head. “You would hate the other side of me, Bethany. The side of me that keeps the DeCarlo Family going. The side of me that resents my past. The side of me that would do anything to protect you.”
“I would love every version of you.” A teardrop fell down my face.
“Every version of me doesn’t even love me. I can deal with that. But you,” he shook his head, “I couldn’t. You can’t truly have me withoutthe madness that makes me. And trust me, Bethany, it’s not worth risking everything for.”
I drop my arms to my side in defeat. “So that’s it?”
“This is it, Bethany,” he replied without any emotion.
Before Emilio could turn away, I blurt out, “Just one more time.”
“One more time what?”
“Own me. Just one last time.”
